tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post4699436637126889852..comments2023-07-05T22:26:40.892-04:00Comments on Splendor in the Home: One Boy, One Girl...and Hopefully it's Just the Beginning!Christinehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00662784804825998751noreply@blogger.comBlogger11125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-81049511709642778022012-10-10T09:44:14.499-04:002012-10-10T09:44:14.499-04:00Everyone seems to have a comment on family size, w...Everyone seems to have a comment on family size, whether it's two kids or ten. After a boy and a girl, I've been asked, "You're done, right?" One day while out shopping, a lady said that - "the perfect family!" and I wasn't sure how to respond, because I have *three* kids, one of whom was at school while we were out. I've been asked "Was the third one planned?" So the nature of the question really doesn't get any less rude as you add to your family. :/ <br /><br />I totally feel the same way you do about family size - I always wanted to have three, but after my third was born, I wondered if I didn't want one more. People will always badger you about your age when you conceive, the age gap between kids, raising children when you're older, possible birth defects, etc. etc. It's endless. But I think, I could be worrying about something that may or may not ever happen; I need to leave that up to God and let him handle it. How can it be anything but a blessing to want to bring another child into the world when so many don't? So we'll see... <br /><br />I was so happy to report on Sly's wellbeing and also new baby Stella (what a beautiful name!) to my daughter, who has been asking for months. :) The Deranged Housewifehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18038751876704709628noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-81039739828103086582012-09-19T13:40:43.016-04:002012-09-19T13:40:43.016-04:00Sometimes (okay, honestly more than sometimes) I w...Sometimes (okay, honestly more than sometimes) I worry that we might be in that same situation, Rosemary! Adoption has always been very important to me though (my dad was adopted and I think he's pretty great) so I try to remind myself that this could be God's way to make sure it happens for our family. Caitlinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01466771774001309549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-91550358016674288582012-09-18T13:37:41.917-04:002012-09-18T13:37:41.917-04:00I just heard Dr. Theresa Farnhan speak yesterday. ...I just heard Dr. Theresa Farnhan speak yesterday. She has 10 kids, ages 19 years to 15 months, her youngest being a girl with Down Syndrome. She ran through the comments that came as they had their successive children, the last being the most hurtful. She is an amazing woman with an amazing story.<br /><br />I don't know why some people feel the need to say things but feel comforted that there are many of us in the boat with you!MamaRochttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14744850673287667492noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-27980022998831888072012-09-17T18:45:34.218-04:002012-09-17T18:45:34.218-04:00ah we got the *million dollar family* comments too...ah we got the *million dollar family* comments too after our son was born {daughter first}. Having always wanted a larger family I would just smile and say *Oh heavens, we're just getting started!* <br /><br />I treated both pregnancies like they could be my last, because while Brent and I have always had an idea of what we'd like our family to be, we also realize life/God has a way of doing it's own thing. And here we are, an 8 year old daughter {this month}, a 5 year old son {October}, and have not felt that the time was right to add. Now THAT I never would have anticipated! lol We've talked about international adoption, adding more bio kids, etc. so it will be interesting to see what comes next. <br /><br />If this is a million dollar family, I suppose I want a three million dollar family! ;) Haileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02411959322160610827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-48638539218827845602012-09-17T18:01:58.832-04:002012-09-17T18:01:58.832-04:00After I had my second son, my mother-in-law would ...After I had my second son, my mother-in-law would tell people right in front of us that we weren't having any more - two's enough. I had great difficulty in conceiving them and both were 6 weeks premature, but we would have loved more. At the time I said nothing. She was upset when I got pregnant with #3 (a boy) and #4 (a girl). They were unplanned by us but certainly planned by God. After that, perfect strangers would ask questions like, "Now that you have your girl, are you going to shut down the baby factory?" I would smile and say, "Whatever God sends".kathy duboishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05944687066984280862noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-51850963579072856252012-09-16T08:09:31.045-04:002012-09-16T08:09:31.045-04:00Good post. It bothered me too when the midwife as...Good post. It bothered me too when the midwife asked that. When we conceived, it would have been financially better to wait even just one month longer (timing of our jobs, Aflac), but we didn't believe we had grave reason to avoid pregnancy. So... was that baby planned??<br /><br />It really seems that *everyone* thinks that way, too. I'm guilty, like you, of "planning" to have a large family. But it really bothers me when it even spreads into the details--people are trying to plan for their baby to have a specific birth month, have to wait 2 more months to TTC because they have that wedding to go to and they want to drink at it, or are hoping for one gender over another so that they have their ideal family. I knew a woman who went through infertility and finally used IVF to have her two kids--yet I got the impression when it was time to find out the gender of the second that she would have *cried* because she would have been SO upset if it was a boy.Katiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06914343351803930748noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-17347948631199852762012-09-15T18:51:27.433-04:002012-09-15T18:51:27.433-04:00Maybe there's something about teeth cleaning, ...Maybe there's something about teeth cleaning, because I went in just this week and the hygienist asked me if I was done or if I wanted more. I only have one!<br /><br />I answered truthfully, "We would love more", and changed the subject.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-52364544644193257032012-09-15T18:05:28.852-04:002012-09-15T18:05:28.852-04:00When I went for a routine dental cleaning while pr...When I went for a routine dental cleaning while pregnant with my 4th child, the receptionist threw her arms up in the air and said, "Better you than me! Good luck! You're gonna need it." That lead to this post: http://www.havingleftthealtar.com/2010/12/contraceptive-mentality.html<br /><br />I fully believe there is no "right" family size except the one God desires for that family and, frankly, it is no one's business but that family's. Katherinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01113818823824140462noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-91368081007702529532012-09-15T13:36:27.046-04:002012-09-15T13:36:27.046-04:00Rosemary, that was my parents. Two girls came two...Rosemary, that was my parents. Two girls came two years apart, and then a number of heartbreaking miscarriages. Ten years after me my youngest sister was born. So many ignorant people commented to their faces about their presumed "accident"! They didn't get too much trouble from church because they had announced so many pregnancies. Hopefully our generation is talking about this issue enough that people start to learn to MYOB. <br /><br />I too cannot think of myself as being "done" yet. Most women of my age/socioeconomic class haven't even started yet. And our children have given us such joy. The sacrifices have already been more than repaid in my opinion. But I'm not ready to think about the next one yet, either! I'm just enjoying where we are.<br /><br />And don't forget: "If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans." :)Maryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02647046851163090769noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-67155147955957194862012-09-15T11:12:14.630-04:002012-09-15T11:12:14.630-04:00Great post, Christine!
My mother had PCOS and th...Great post, Christine! <br /><br />My mother had PCOS and though my parents wanted to have a large family, they weren't able to. They got the "perfect family" comments *so often*, since they had just me and my brother. And on the flip side, they got a lot of sidelong judgmental glances (and even outright spoken implications, the rudeness of which boggles my mind) from fellow Catholics. Both were equally painful to them, and both were an extension of the "plan" mentality that you mentioned. Rosemaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17699055172049185864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6781474098383349170.post-30278133324951957822012-09-15T10:58:36.523-04:002012-09-15T10:58:36.523-04:00I find the concept of "planning" a famil...I find the concept of "planning" a family so interesting. Long ago my hubby and I decided that 3 sounded like a great number to us. We have our 3 boys (and I an IUD). "I" say "I" am done but if God were to have a 4th baby planned for us who's to say who's really in charge of all this planning to begin with! :)<br /><br />Hope y'all have a great weekend!<br /><br />xoxoxHillaryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10944360286843076465noreply@blogger.com