A blessed Advent to all! This is one of my favorite times of year, and I'm so glad it has come around again.
We just got back to town after a long Thanksgiving trip, so I haven't yet dug out the Advent wreath or Jesse Tree, or all the other great little treasures packed away in my Advent box.
But I did pull out my huge stack of children's picture books for the season. I know some families like to wrap all their Christmas books in wrapping paper, and have the kids pick one to read each day of Advent. Sounds like a nice way to space them out and build up anticipation and all that, but...."Aint's nobody got time for that" (as they say) around here. Instead, they'll just sit in a stack in the basement and the kids will be able to choose what to read each day. I counted up our books, and we have over forty! Yikes. Too many books for just one per day, so I'll be letting each kid take a turn to pick two books to read each day until we run out.
I've been doing some thinking about how our family should observe the Church's feast days. It seems like a lot of the Catholic moms on the internet these days observe so many of the days in the Liturgical calendar with a special craft or fun treat for the kids. You can find online for observing ideas for even the most obscure of holydays. For awhile, I felt like I needed to do that too.
I think it's great that there is a renewed interest in the observation of the Church year. Based on the publication dates of some of the "classic" books on this topic (Maria Von Trapp's. Mary Reed Newland's, Fr. F. X. Weiser's), I suspect there was a similar cultural movement like this back in the 50s.
But after trying - and failing - many times to come up with and remember to do fun activities with the kids for each major feast day that came up, I realized it wasn't exactly what I wanted for our family. Something about it all seemed forced, artificial.
And anyways, the best and most traditional way to celebrate the feasts is to attend Mass on that day, and pray the special prayers that the Church has chosen (as well as participating in the prayers of the Divine Office).
Conclusion: attending Mass with your family to celebrate the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe is better than eating tacos on that day just because she appeared in Mexico. Or, baking a cake for the feast of St. Linus (a rather obscure Saint) because you have a son named for him is better than saying, "oh, tomorrow is the feast of St. Benedict!" (who you admittedly don't much much about, and have never had a personal devotion to) and scrambling to find an excerpt about him to read the kids from one of their Saint books, and researching the various traditional ways different countries/monasteries have celebrated the day, and trying to throw a special dish together at the last minute with food items you already have in your pantry. You know what I mean? (though let me be clear - eating tacos as a way to observe a feast is not bad)
At Mass yesterday, the first day of Advent, the priest said some things in his homily that struck me. Firstly, he was talking about our daily family prayers, and how we needed to ramp them up during Advent. He mentioned a daily Rosary, referring to it as "the basics", that it was what we should all already be doing. How many Catholic families are making the time and effort to fit in a Rosary every single day? Are you? How can you make it happen this Advent?
Father suggested, if families aren't already, to add in the prayer of the Angelus each day this Advent - saying it once morning morning, noon, and 6pm, if you're able.
Father also talked about the penitential nature of Advent, and how we should consider a way to make it more penitential in our homes. It got me to thinking about how rarely I offer any personal penances, or observe any fasts. With the exception of the bare minimum required by the Church - fasting on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday, and abstaining from meat every Friday - I don't have a good habit of offering sacrifices. (if you are Catholic, and are not consistently abstaining every Friday of the year, please be aware that this is required. If you live in the US, you have permission to substitue a personal penance instead of abstaining from meat. We prefer to follow the traditional course. I have heard it argued that there is greater virtue in performing a penance not chosen by yourself, one that is accepted from above out of obedience)
All this started me thinking of the Liturgical year again, and how there used to be so many more days on which fasting/abstinence were required - more stringent fasting rules for Lent, the Ember days, fasting on the eve of many major feast days, and so on. We are not required to observe many of these fasts anymore, just as we are not required to observe most of the feast days on the calendar. But if I want to try to revive the celebration of some of our favorite feasts in our home - Assumption, Our Lady of the Rosary, Epiphany, etc. - then I feel we should really be taking on more of the penitential days as well.
It just suddenly feels wrong to enjoy celebrating all the feasts without also sacrificing during the fasts.
Showing posts with label Advent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Advent. Show all posts
Monday, November 28, 2016
Friday, December 12, 2014
7 Quick Takes (Vol. 44)
-1-
It seems like the Catholic-blogging topic du jour is Santa. Everyone's sharing whether they "do Santa" or not and explaining why. Check out some of these posts at: Catholic All Year, One Catholic Mama, and Carrots for Michaelmas.Our Santa policy will surely get more defined over the years, but for now we're still taking the "neither confirm nor deny" approach (in the words of Haley) that we settled on last year. We still have a few books about Santa (I weeded out any that weren't otherwise a good story with attractive art work), but 90% of our Christmas book collection is based on the birth of Christ. I'm confident that Sly understands the "real meaning of Christmas" from the conversations we've been having about it during Advent, and the Adventen [that should be a word. Like Lenten, but Adventen. Make sense?] practices we use: Advent wreath, hymn-singing, Nativity sets, Jesse Tree, etc..
At four years old, Sly is definitely getting more interested in the Santa idea this year. I can tell he's wrestling with whether the tale is true or not. And I'm okay with that. If a direct question comes up, I'll probably handle it similarly to my approach to some of our other stories. When I read the kids a story about a Saint or a version of the Nativity that's faithful to the real story, I often tell them, "This is a TRUE story." But if we we read a made-up story about some lamb or donkey or camel that was present at the birth of Christ, I don't say "this is a true story." Sometimes, Sly asks afterwards. And I tell him, "well, parts are true - such as this and this. And Mary might have said something like this. But we don't really know what the lamb was named, or if it happened just this way....What do you think?"
-2-
My mom gave Stella a new outfit - a tunic top with leggings. And I realized that I just don't understand modern fashions. I was dressing her, and put her in the leggings....with high socks and tennis shoes. It looked pretty silly. I think the right "look" is to wear leggings barefoot with ballet flats? See, I don't even know. But it's wintertime in Pittsburgh! It's cold! So I guess she'll just look silly in her socks.
-3-
But remember when leggings used to be called "stretch pants"? (Or, as we called them when I rowed on the crew team in high school, "spandex pants"). Remember when yoga pants were called "sweat pants"? I feel like if we called things by their non-trendy names, maybe they wouldn't seem so acceptable as everyday wear![Flip-flops also used to be called thongs, which just sounds especially bad these days, but I'm conveniently not mentioning this example because I have been known to wear flip-flops from time to time...]
-4-
As much as I am behind on a lot of technology, it's dismaying sometimes to see just how dependent I've become on some things. The other day I was going to a cookie exchange for my mom's group. I have been to the hostess's house many times, and yet I'd always just used the GPS to find my way. When I got in the car, the GPS cord was broken, and the thing would not turn on. After struggling with it in the car for a while, I dashed into the house so I could print out some directions from Google (which now seems sooooo old-fashioned), but the website with her address wasn't opening. Gah! I literally didn't know where she lived or how to get there without my technology! So I had to get really old-fashioned, and call her on the phone and ask her how to get there.And then later that night, I had a dream which was just...me scrolling through Facebook. And my imagination was coming up with realistic-sounding statuses that real-life friends might post, and I was having internal dialogue about them ("oh, that's interesting"). Wow. Maybe I need to go on a technology fast...
-5-
We had some family photos taken last month. Basically, every year that we have a new baby in the family, we get a professional photo taken. It provides a much-appreciated yet simple Christmas gift to give the grandparents. And cheap, too, if you hunt down coupons for free sitting fees and free prints, which I always do. I've never spent more than $20 on our professional photos.JCPenny also threw in a few free photo Christmas cards from our shots. I went against my personal stance against photo cards, and sent those ones to select out-of-town relatives who I knew would love them.
-6-
Sly and I are still making our way through his reading lessons. Recently, the pace has slowed down a lot with us getting through only two lessons a week (as opposed to one lesson a day, which is the intention). For a while now, I've suspected that Sly could be finishing each lesson pretty easily, if he could just focus. Reading lessons had become a little martydom for me, a momentous struggle not to yell at him for all his wiggling, messing around, intentional mis-pronounciations, etc.But I finally found something that's helped him to concentrate on the lessons, and I think it's hilarious how well it's working. Before we start our lesson, I give him a cookie. I let him take one bite. And then I tell him he can finish it only when the lesson is over. The cookie sits there on the table the whole time. He has that little taste still in his mouth, and he just can't wait to finish it. Sly has been moving through the lessons so beautifully since I've started this! He does know all the sounds and words, he just needed some incentive to concentrate :-)
Nope. Not above bribing my kid with food.
-7-
Over Thanksgiving, Tom's mom treated the two of us to a date night at their local BYOB paint-your-own-picture place (her offer included chauffeuring us there and back, providing us with wine and snacks to take with us, and watching all three kids for the night!!). It was a "couple painting" night where two people each make half a scene and you put the canvases together to make a full painting.![]() |
| we're in the leftish foreground |
An art instructor taught us how to paint, so no experience was necessary. It was pretty fun, and I was pretty impressed that I managed to paint something half-decent...even though it is a cheesy snowman.
![]() |
| Tom refused to kiss me under the mistletoe, because he was embarrassed enough by the dorky snowman painting |
| wed joked that the male snowman is reaching out longingly for the woman, and she's saying, "um, we can just shake hands." |
Quick Takes is hosted at This Ain't the Lyceum
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
How I Pack up Christmas Stuff, and Other Random Tidbits
Life has been fairly calm and un-blog-worthy recently. Which isn't a bad thing, I suppose. We've been rather more confined to the house, what with the cold weather, and my increasing tiredness in the mornings.
The Christmas decorations are beginning to come down today, which is always a little bittersweet. I don't like to say goodbye to this most wonderful time of year, but it always feels pretty nice to have a seemingly clutter-free and clean house just by virtue of removing the Christmas stuff. I think I'll keep the nativity sets and the Christ child statue out for a bit, though...maybe until Candlemas (February 2nd) this year!
Oh - one piece of advice I wanted to share for those of you who might also be packing away decorations now. Last year, I packed everything into three big bins. One of them was labeled "Advent" and the other two were more for "Christmas." It made it so much easier for me this December when I wanted to pull out certain things at certain times! The Advent bins contained those items I would need access to earlier, and the Christmas bins had those things which I hoped to save for right before the big day.
Stuff in my Advent bin: Nativity sets, large manger and pile of "hay", Advent wreath/candles/prayers, leftover materials for Christmas cards and list (of who had sent them to us the year before), children's Christmas books, caroling lyrics, pine-scented candles (which make everything in the box smell amazing), outdoor lights, Jesse Tree stuff.
Stuff in my Christmas bins: all tree decor, indoor lights, garlands, Christmas linens/table runners/dishes, wall decorations, stockings and stocking holders.
***
I finished my quilt a week or so ago! I'm pleased with how it turned out. Stella loves her new quilt, and despite it being pretty huge for her, she's been sleeping with it folded in half over her each night.
Quilting isn't difficult, it just takes a lot of time...and there are a number of pieces of special equipment you need (about half of which I now own myself), and several specialized bits of knowledge that you need to have shown or explained to you. I think I'm proficient enough now to begin another one on my own, though. Which I'd like to do soon.
When my mother-in-law saw my completed quilt, she started dropping many hints about how she's been wanting to replace their 17-year-old Amish-made bed quilt for a while now. It would make a great Christmas gift the in-laws next year, if I can pull it off...but I think I'd really better start as soon as possible! I don't have a good track record for finishing craft projects in a timely manner (see: cross stitch sampler)...plus I'm expecting a baby in a few months, and all.
***
My pregnancy is going well. I'm finally in the third trimester now. It's good, because it means I'm in the home stretch, but I can already feel the exhaustion creeping back in. It has been hard to get out of bed each morning.
The midwives tell me I'm somewhat anemic. I'm not surprised, as I'm always "on the edge", and usually dip into the "anemic zone" whenever I'm pregnant. They prescribed some iron pills, which I've yet to pick up from the pharmacy (it's below 0° today - I'm definitely staying home!), but in my experience, they always make me throw up. Sooo...just eat more red meat?
***
It's a little early yet, but in preparation for the new baby, Tom and I re-arranged the kids' room. They'll all be sharing one room, assuming we're still in this house by the time baby arrives (which is looking likely at this point. Though if the right house actually came on the market, I think I would be crazy enough to attempt a move right around my due date). Sly and Stella will each have a toddler bed, with the new baby in the crib (after an initial month or so of sleeping in our room). Stella's only 16 months old, so probably still too young to move into her big girl bed. I think we're going to give her a try in it tonight and see what happens, though. Just for fun :-)
It's been hitting me so much recently that Stella is really *not* a baby anymore. She's so big now! I can't bring myself to call her a "toddler" yet, but I know as soon as the new baby comes, it will be fully obvious.
***
We're finally getting back into the groove of a Family Rosary each night. Tom has been working with Sly to help him learn the prayers and participate. Right now, he has to say two decades (verrry slowly) with us. It makes me so proud to see how well he pays attention, and to hear him reciting all the prayers with us. He wouldn't be able to say them by himself, but he does know all the words when we pray together! God Bless my husband and his patience in helping this to happen.
***
Did anyone else watch Downton Abbey on Sunday? The double-episode didn't have too many thrilling moments or shockers, but I'm happy to see that the quality of the show is still up to its high standards. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.
The Christmas decorations are beginning to come down today, which is always a little bittersweet. I don't like to say goodbye to this most wonderful time of year, but it always feels pretty nice to have a seemingly clutter-free and clean house just by virtue of removing the Christmas stuff. I think I'll keep the nativity sets and the Christ child statue out for a bit, though...maybe until Candlemas (February 2nd) this year!
Oh - one piece of advice I wanted to share for those of you who might also be packing away decorations now. Last year, I packed everything into three big bins. One of them was labeled "Advent" and the other two were more for "Christmas." It made it so much easier for me this December when I wanted to pull out certain things at certain times! The Advent bins contained those items I would need access to earlier, and the Christmas bins had those things which I hoped to save for right before the big day.
Stuff in my Advent bin: Nativity sets, large manger and pile of "hay", Advent wreath/candles/prayers, leftover materials for Christmas cards and list (of who had sent them to us the year before), children's Christmas books, caroling lyrics, pine-scented candles (which make everything in the box smell amazing), outdoor lights, Jesse Tree stuff.
Stuff in my Christmas bins: all tree decor, indoor lights, garlands, Christmas linens/table runners/dishes, wall decorations, stockings and stocking holders.
***
I finished my quilt a week or so ago! I'm pleased with how it turned out. Stella loves her new quilt, and despite it being pretty huge for her, she's been sleeping with it folded in half over her each night.
Quilting isn't difficult, it just takes a lot of time...and there are a number of pieces of special equipment you need (about half of which I now own myself), and several specialized bits of knowledge that you need to have shown or explained to you. I think I'm proficient enough now to begin another one on my own, though. Which I'd like to do soon.
When my mother-in-law saw my completed quilt, she started dropping many hints about how she's been wanting to replace their 17-year-old Amish-made bed quilt for a while now. It would make a great Christmas gift the in-laws next year, if I can pull it off...but I think I'd really better start as soon as possible! I don't have a good track record for finishing craft projects in a timely manner (see: cross stitch sampler)...plus I'm expecting a baby in a few months, and all.
***
My pregnancy is going well. I'm finally in the third trimester now. It's good, because it means I'm in the home stretch, but I can already feel the exhaustion creeping back in. It has been hard to get out of bed each morning.
The midwives tell me I'm somewhat anemic. I'm not surprised, as I'm always "on the edge", and usually dip into the "anemic zone" whenever I'm pregnant. They prescribed some iron pills, which I've yet to pick up from the pharmacy (it's below 0° today - I'm definitely staying home!), but in my experience, they always make me throw up. Sooo...just eat more red meat?
***
It's a little early yet, but in preparation for the new baby, Tom and I re-arranged the kids' room. They'll all be sharing one room, assuming we're still in this house by the time baby arrives (which is looking likely at this point. Though if the right house actually came on the market, I think I would be crazy enough to attempt a move right around my due date). Sly and Stella will each have a toddler bed, with the new baby in the crib (after an initial month or so of sleeping in our room). Stella's only 16 months old, so probably still too young to move into her big girl bed. I think we're going to give her a try in it tonight and see what happens, though. Just for fun :-)
| using a spoon! |
It's been hitting me so much recently that Stella is really *not* a baby anymore. She's so big now! I can't bring myself to call her a "toddler" yet, but I know as soon as the new baby comes, it will be fully obvious.
***
We're finally getting back into the groove of a Family Rosary each night. Tom has been working with Sly to help him learn the prayers and participate. Right now, he has to say two decades (verrry slowly) with us. It makes me so proud to see how well he pays attention, and to hear him reciting all the prayers with us. He wouldn't be able to say them by himself, but he does know all the words when we pray together! God Bless my husband and his patience in helping this to happen.
***
Did anyone else watch Downton Abbey on Sunday? The double-episode didn't have too many thrilling moments or shockers, but I'm happy to see that the quality of the show is still up to its high standards. I'm looking forward to the rest of the season.
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Preparations!
It just hit me last night how close it actually is until Christmas...less than a week!
Our house is kinda in a shambles at the moment, with boxes of decorations all over the place, but it's slowly coming together. Gifts are wrapped, and I've been enjoying Pandora's "classical Christmas" station while I work.
We took the kids to see the seasonal sights Downtown.
And they got to decorate the little tree on their own (not bad for a 3-year old and a 1-year old!)
I'm slowly getting the big tree decked out (no ornaments yet). And big it is - probably 10 feet this year!
Tom's been working on some super-secret project in the basement after the kids are in bed each night. He strung up some sheets, and I'm not allowed to go back there...
And our "donation" bin is overflowing, since I've been pre-emptively purging some toys in preparation for the inevitable gift explosion that will descend on our kids next week (from the relatives, not us!)
Tom and I have picked out our cookie recipes for Saturday's cookie exchange, and shopped for ingredients. (One of my favorite parts of this exchange is that I get to cajole all the male guests into actually baking something once a year!)
Our house is kinda in a shambles at the moment, with boxes of decorations all over the place, but it's slowly coming together. Gifts are wrapped, and I've been enjoying Pandora's "classical Christmas" station while I work.
We took the kids to see the seasonal sights Downtown.
And they got to decorate the little tree on their own (not bad for a 3-year old and a 1-year old!)
I'm slowly getting the big tree decked out (no ornaments yet). And big it is - probably 10 feet this year!
Tom's been working on some super-secret project in the basement after the kids are in bed each night. He strung up some sheets, and I'm not allowed to go back there...
And our "donation" bin is overflowing, since I've been pre-emptively purging some toys in preparation for the inevitable gift explosion that will descend on our kids next week (from the relatives, not us!)
Tom and I have picked out our cookie recipes for Saturday's cookie exchange, and shopped for ingredients. (One of my favorite parts of this exchange is that I get to cajole all the male guests into actually baking something once a year!)
Friday, December 13, 2013
7 Quick Takes (Vol. 35)
- 1-
We're bought our tree last night (I am a staunch supporter of live Christmas trees!), and plan to leave it on the front porch in some water for a little while. We'll take our time setting it up and decorating, with the goal being to finish before my cookie exchange party, a few days before Christmas. I'm going to challenge myself to hold off on turning on the lights (vintage-style c7s!) until Christmas Eve, with the party being the only exception. The tree will still be there all decorated in our dining room, along with various other things around the house...but I want to save the full effect until the end.
When my dad was growing up, his parents sealed off a room of the house and each night after the kids were in bed, they decorated a bit of the room. Finally, on Christmas Eve, the sheets were pulled down, and the grand scene unveiled, to everyone's delight. I always wanted to achieve a little bit of that wonder and awe of the "final reveal" in my own home, so this is how we'll try to do it this year.
-2-
Advent update: We've been remembering to do our Jesse Tree and Advent wreath each night, and Sly really enjoys them both. Unfortunately, we don't actually have a Jesse "tree" this year - just the ornaments. I had had a little artificial tabletop tree for years, and was planning to use that. When I went to get it out, though, I couldn't find it in any of the bins. Then I had a faint memory of giving it away to Goodwill last year. Oops. So for now, I just have Sly stick each day's ornament into the center of the Advent wreath. It's good enough. I'll check the after-Christmas sales for something we can use in the future.
-3-
My mom got Stella an adorable Christmas nightgown. I used to wear nightgowns all the time as a kid, and I'd forgotten how warm and snuggly they are. Seeing Stella in hers makes me wonder if I should get an adult-sized one to wear (my growing belly is getting too big for most of my pajamas anyways, so I could justify the purchase!).
I thought, "Tom might not be crazy about me wearing an old-fashioned nightgown to bed..." then I thought, "but hey, at least it'd be more feminine than the sweatpants and old running t-shirts I usually sleep in..." and then, "but there's probably a difference between 'feminine' and 'old lady'..." :-)
So I don't know. Would it be totally ridiculous?
-4-
It took us over a year to get around to finishing, but we finally re-finished a pretty antique chair we had. A bachelor friend of ours had picked it from someone's trash on one of his many quests for things to burn as firewood. I spotted it in his house, and loved it. I insisted that he should fix it up and make it beautiful again. Instead, he offered it to me, on the promise that I would do that very thing.
It was a major chore to strip all the old finish off. My mother-in-law and I spent hours in their freezing garage (we needed ventilation) last year at Thanksgiving working on it.
| (whose pants am I wearing?) |
-5-
I enjoyed John Zmirak's (author of some of my favorite books, "The Bad Catholic's Guides") amusing suggestions for how a non-people person should observe Advent:
- When people say, “Happy Holidays,” respond by saying, “Happy Generic Meaningless Winterfest!” Then explain how the war on Christmas is part of a systematic attack by secularists on all of civil society—culminating in the HHS mandate. Nod solemnly as they back away.
- When someone says “Merry Christmas” even five minutes before sunset on Dec. 24, remind them that “Advent is a season of penance, fasting and prayer, to remind us of the hopeless misery of the human condition that Christ came to rectify—for those who accept Him. But the path is straight, and narrow, and few do travel it.” Then smile and say “But hey, Merry Christmas!”
-6-
Sly (age 3) has recently developed some pretty incapacitating fears about being alone on another floor of the house by himself. I'm not sure how it started - if there was a certain incident, or maybe something suggested by a book or in conversation with someone? He refuses to go upstairs to fetch things anymore, and if I just need to run to another floor (we have three floors plus the basement, so this is basically one hundred times a day) for something, he insists on following. It's really frustrating. We've tried talking about it with him calmly and sensitively, the in-laws tried reading him a bunch of books about "not being afraid" (recycled from when Tom's sister had fears of the dark), we've tried being firm with him and commanding him to stay put while we walk away to just use the bathroom...but nothing has helped so far. Most of the time, he breaks into tears at the mere suggestion that he go somewhere on his own. When we ask why he doesn't want to be somewhere alone, he doesn't have an answer. Any ideas how to help him conquer this??
EDIT: This morning, I had us pray to St. George (right now, Sly is very taken with him, and the story of him fighting the dragon) for Sly to have bravery. We'll see what effect this might have over time...
-7-
I try to use more natural fats when cooking, such as butter and olive oil. I've read enough about vegetable oils/shortening to at least be motivated to *think* about trying to eliminate them from my cooking. A while back, Tom and I bought a tub of lard to see what we thought of it. I really liked it as a substitute until I noticed that it was processed with the nasty preservatives BHA and BHT (which, I believe, are banned in pretty much most countries besides the US). The main reason I wanted to start cooking with lard was because it's better for you than the hydrogenated oils. But if they're going to add in the preservatives, it's probably pretty much a wash on the health-factor.
It took us a while to track down - we even went to several independent butchers who we'd assumed would have rendered their own lard, but no luck - until we finally found lard you can buy without the preservatives. It was at an expensive organic market, so probably not something we can fit into the budget long-term. I'm thinking of trying to track down some un-rendered pork fat somewhere and just making it myself, because it would likely be cheaper.
Anyways, I highly recommend cooking with lard. I know it sounds gross at first. But it's really just the same as any other fat you cook or bake with. The great part is, it is pretty much flavorless and odorless. So when you fry things in it, the whole house doesn't get that "frying" smell that sticks around for days. And when you eat the food, it still has that pleasant crispiness without tasting oily and heavy.
Quick Takes is hosted at Conversion Diary
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Ideas for Keeping Advent and Christmas Holy
Monica at www.equippingCatholicfamilies. com
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Laura at http://daybydayinourworld.com/
Sarah at http://onthewayhome2.com
Birgit at http://designsbybirgit. blogspot.ca/
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We'll be sharing different ways, tips, stories and real-life experiences that will help us focus our Advent and Christmas on JESUS!”
*****
The Santa QuestionSince last Christmas, when my son was finally getting old enough to comprehend was Christmas was all about, I've been struggling with the question of whether or not we should continue to encourage and teach the legend of Santa alongside the story of Christ's birth or not. I've been thinking and reading about it all year, and here's what I've finally concluded.
I do believe it's possible - even in this culture - to "not do Santa" in your family. True, Santa brings a wonderful sense of "magic" to Christmas. But if you celebrate the feast of Christmas well, there is absolutely no lack of magic in the incomprehensible beauty and wonder of the Christmas story (see, for example, this account of how an American family celebrated in the German tradition).
I have spoken with a couple adults who were raised without the Santa myth, and don't feel that they were at all deprived. However, Santa is a part of my family's celebration of Christmas, and both Tom and I still have some nostalgic attachment to him. I decided that if we can work him into our otherwise Christ-centered Christmas, we don't have to cut out Santa entirely.
In many parts of Europe, the little children would write letters during Advent to the baby Jesus (remember that adorable one that Pope Benedict XVI wrote as a child?), and they believed that He was the one who brought the gifts. Here in America, it's Santa who's solely responsible for this. I'd like my kids to understand that Santa/mom and dad/relatives/friends are giving gifts at Christmas *in celebration* of the birth of Christ. And I came across a wonderful little passage that suggests a way to keep Santa, but relegate him to his proper place:
The fairytale of Santa Claus will not be abolished easily, despite the efforts of well-meaning people. Nor does it seem necessary. Children do like fairytales, and Santa Claus is one of the most charming of them. Catholic parents might use it without harm, provided they apply some safeguards to avoid undue overstressing of the Santa Claus figure….Keep the Santa tale in its simple, appealing form and shun the corruptions introduced by commercial managers….Never allow the figure of Santa Claus to dominate the child’s mind. The Child Jesus must be the main figure in all his Christmas thinking. Picture to him Santa as merely a servant and deliveryman, delightful but not very important….Do not let your children present their wishes to Santa. If you want them to write down what they desire, let them write to the Child Jesus according to the old Catholic custom. Santa does not give the presents, he only delivers what the Lord sends. The above suggestions will also help to lessen the "shock" when the children find out that "there is no Santa." As one mother did when her little boy came full of doubts and asked her if there was really a Santa Claus...."Of course not," said mother quietly, "that's only a story for very small children. You are a big boy now, so you understand how it really is. Our dear Lord does not need a deliveryman. He has already given you somebody who loves you very much and who is happy to give you the Christmas presents in His Name. Do you know who these persons are?" The child thought for a moment, then he said, "Daddy and mother?" "Yes, my dear", answered she, "and would you not rather that father and I give you the presents? We love you more than Santa Claus does."– Francis W. Weiser, S.J., The Year of the Lord in the Christian Home
I think this is a very good approach to take. Ultimately, I don't intend to discourage belief in Santa, just to downplay some of his influence over my children's understanding of the meaning and purpose of Christmas. [In case anyone is wondering, I have some issues with considering Santa the same person as St. Nicholas. I won't go into them here, but we will celebrate St. Nick separately on his proper feast day of December 6th.]
Here are some of the ways we will observe Advent/Christmas this year:
Replacing our Secular "Advent Calendar" with a Jesse Tree
We grew up with a cute advent calendar with velcro "ornaments" that you add to a tree each day of December. My mom was so excited to pass it on to me as soon as I had kids of my own. There's nothing wrong with this Advent calendar, but as the other moms and I at the latest discussion group lamented, "there are so many cool Advent practices you can do with your family, but you just can't do them all!" The symbols in our calendar are mostly items like presents and toys. And the calendar culminates on December 24th with a Santa face. Not exactly the message I want to get across to the kids about what Christmas means.
I think I'm going to keep it in the box this year, and try out a Jesse Tree in its place. Again, I don't think the calendar is harmful in itself. But we can only fit in so many "you have to do this once a day" items, and the Jesse Tree is one I've wanted to try for awhile. For those who are unfamiliar, it's a way to walk through the Biblical stories of salvation history, culminating in the birth of Christ. You have ornaments with symbols that represent each of those events in salvation history, and each day you add one to a little "Jesse" tree. I participated in Karen's ornament exchange this year, and received a set of very cute and creative ornaments from other bloggers. Now I just need to figure out which ornament corresponds to which story AND find some sort of (free?) transcript of little-kid-friendly prayers or readings for each day...and I think I'm good to go!
Also, our children's Christmas book collection is about half-and-half religious and secular at this point. This year, I think I might weed out some of the ones that focus too much on getting presents as the main excitement of Christmas.
Actually Remembering to Light Our Advent Wreath Each Day
This has been a big problem for Tom and I during Advent. We always seem to start out with grand plans about saying nightly prayers around our lit wreath, but then manage to only do it one or two nights a week. This year, the plan is to say our prayers and let Sly add an ornament to the Jesse Tree right after dinner - before anyone gets up from the table. That way, we won't run the risk of forgetting or running out of time later.
Last year, we tried to sing one verse of O Come, O Come Emmanuel each time we gathered around the wreath. It is a long song with many verses, but...it would still be nice to have some other Advent songs in our repertoire. Does anyone know of any others that are good for group singing, and written in English??
Using Representations of the Nativity to Tell the Story of Christmas
We have two nativity sets right now. Our "nice set" is made by Fontanini
We also have the Little People set. It's not my favorite children's Nativity, since the modern-day Little People are so chunky and the animals are non-posable (unlike the Little People animals of my own childhood). But it's great to not have to mind if they get roughed up a bit by the kids.
One of my favorites - and something I saved up money for a year to purchase! - is my lifesize Christ statue in a manger. They make them in smaller sizes, but it was important to me to find one that was life-size, because I thought that would help us all the understand that Christ was really once a tiny baby on this earth. This is VERY breakable, so I have to keep it up on a table. The wooden manger sits out, empty, during Advent. Last year, when Sly was only two, I had him add a piece of "straw" (cut up yellow paper) to the manger everytime he did something "good." He really enjoyed this, and was pleased to help "make a soft bed" out of his sacrifices for the baby Jesus, who we brought out on Christmas morning.
A friend of mine also called my attention to what I think would be a really fun tradition to start. I've been trying to think of good ways to continue the celebration of Christmas day to extend to all "twelve days of Christmas." One family came up with a great alternative to the silly Elf on the Shelf thing that does just that. The three wise men travel throughout your house on those twelve days, searching all sorts of silly places, wondering where they can find the newborn king. If I can get ahold of the Playmobil Three Wise Kings this year - and I've already mentioned it to the grandparents who were looking for gift ideas for our kids - we're definitely going to try it!
Not Starting Christmas Too Early?
Well, except for one thing: I do like to find most of my Christmas gifts as early as possible, ideally before December. The sooner I do that, the sooner I can stop stressing out about it, and just wrap myself up in the peacefulness and expectation of Advent.
Though it's difficult, I try to resist listening to Christmas music for most of Advent. I bring out the Christmas decorations slowly, bits at a time. I wish I had the resolve to not even trim the tree or light the lights until Christmas Eve, but these things usually happen a week or so before. It's not a great excuse, but I hold an annual cookie exchange at my house shortly before Christmas, and I like to be decorated by then. Advent is a good time to try out some simple recipes - soups, meatless meals, and similar. Make these little sacrifices for Christ now, and the joy of Christmas will be all the more.
I think if you try maintain the right attitude about Advent in your home - this exciting time of quiet and waiting - then you can enjoy a very peaceful and holy season. And hopefully, by the time Christmas actually arrives, you are jubilant rather than feeling sick of it!
*****
Visit these participating blogs for awesome posts about Keeping Christ in Christmas!
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Happy Little Homemaker: December Devotion: Immaculate Conception
Adoro Ergo Sum: How We Keep Christ in Christmas
JoyAlive.net: O Come, O Come, Emmanuel
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Embedded Faith Boldly Be the Christ in Christmas
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A Catholic Life Advent: The Beginning of the Liturgical Year & Source of Rich Meditations
Designs by Birgit: Elf on a Shelf and Santa Claus
Catholic Inspired: Faith-Centered Family Christmas
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Day By Day in Our World: 40 Days Seeking Him and Keeping Christ in Christmas
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Tercets: Keeping Christ in Christmas: Join Church Ministries
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The Road to Rome: Advent Prayer and Reflection Resources
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