I Finished My Baby Blanket Just in Time....

...to find out that we are having another BOY!

haha.  Joke's on all of us, I guess.  So this beautiful but very pink blanket will be going into storage for the time being.  And I'll be beginning as soon as possible on knitting a light green blanket for this new little man.

The pattern is called Sleeping Baby's Castle Blanket, and is for sale on Ravelry

Perhaps the next one (God willing) will be a girl.  It would maintain the pattern we've got going on, at any rate: boy - girl - boy - girl - boy.

Now begins the challenging process of deciding on a boy name.  Tom and I are totally deadlocked on this question.  We each have a name we love but the other spouse hates.  And so far, neither of us have wanted to budge :-P

"Gender Reveal" Tomorrow!

Who will come out in the lead - the boys or the girls?

I have my 20-week ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow, and I'm so excited to find out whether the baby is a boy or girl.  We always find out.  At this point, Tom would prefer to "be surprised" - now that we have one (well, two actually) of each, and have all the gender-appropriate clothes we'll need anyways.  But I just really like to know.  And I guess since I'm the one doing all the work to grow this little person, and carrying him/her around all these months, my opinion wins out.  And I figure, we're still getting surprised, it just happens to be 20 weeks earlier than some people do.

Obviously, we are happy and in love with this baby no matter what.  But right now, most of us are rooting for it being another girl.  All for very different reasons.

Linus: Baby girls are all he really knows, since his only younger sibling is a girl.

Stella: She says she wants the "girls to win" by outnumbering the boys.

Sly: He claims - not without reason - that "baby girls are the cutest".  He's been the sweetest, most doting big brother to Flora, and I think he's hoping for another baby like her.

Mommy: Has been working since before she was pregnant on knitting a baby blanket "for our next baby that's a girl."  I'm 99.9% finished (I just have four rows left to do!), and it's very pink and very girly, so I won't be using it if this baby is a boy.  I have a tradition of knitting each baby a blanket before they are born, and I would very much like *not* to have to start all over tomorrow in a boy color :-P

New Perspectives on NFP

I finally got around to reading Simcha's book The Sinner's Guide to Natural Family Planning.

I avoid ever paying full price for a book (I know, I know - it's good to support the author.  But it's also hard to fit in our budget.), and I didn't expect this one to show up in our library anytime soon.  I hoped to borrow it from a friend, but they were all reading Kindle versions (darn that new technology!).  I finally buckled down and bought it on Amazon (it's selling for a really reasonable price, so if you're still curious about it, buy it!) because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about.

I have to admit, I expected to hate it. Maybe I even wanted to hate it.  Despite all the reviews claiming that Simcha finally spoke the truth about the challenges of NFP instead of rhapsodizing about what a magical beautiful thing it is, I suspected that she must still be secretly "propagandizing" NFP - something I believe to be a legitimate, but often over-rated practice.

I was pleased to discover that this wasn't true.  She spoke a lot of sense in this book, and shared a great deal of wisdom - gained over the years of her marriage.  More than a guide about dealing with the challenges of NFP, I would say that this is a guide to how we fallen humans can live out a Christ-centered marriage.  Even though my husband and I are not using - and never have *really* used - NFP, there was still a lot for me to learn here.

It's an age-old truth, but something which has continually impressed me is the fact that with age and experience often comes wisdom.  Recently, I've gained a bit of understanding on something about NFP that used to baffle me.

I've shared some of my thoughts on NFP before (see here and here), so you might know that I'm pretty down on the way it is is commonly "sold" by Catholics.  I think people want so badly to provide an appealing alternative to contraception (which is always immoral) that they talk up NFP as being a positive thing, rather than the morally neutral tool that it is.  It's kind of like saying, "isn't it awesome that I got sick on Sunday and was dispensed from the obligation to attend Mass?!"  No, actually.  You may have been perfectly sinless in missing Mass, but it kinda sucks that you had to be sick, and I don't think it's anything to be thrilled about - even if it means you finally had a chance to pray five Rosaries.

At least some portion of my distaste for NFP came about because I just could not understand the motivations a lot of people had when deciding they needed to postpone another pregnancy.  Yeah - pregnancy and children are exhausting, but...who said life was supposed to be easy?  The primary purpose of marriage is procreation.  I suspected that NFP was often over-used by Catholics.  I tried very hard never to presume anything about particular people, but something always seemed "off" about the fact that pretty much every couple we heard about seemed to be using NFP to intentionally plan out each of their conceptions.  What ever happened to just accepting babies as they came - even when they came close?  Do you really need to jump right back into charting and postponing the second after you give birth?  Why do the midwives have to write down what sort of family planning I'm going to use at my 6-week post-partum checkup, and why won't they accept my answer when I tell them "none"?  I never understood the fear I sensed in other women over the thought of another pregnancy.

But then I gave birth to my third child.

When my first two kids were born - I mean the moment they were born - my very first emotions were this intense mixture of relief and "joy that a man has been born into this world" (Jn 16:21).  But when my sweet little Linus came out, I just felt numb.  Joyless.  Tom was weeping in happiness, our doula was praising my hard work and smiling at the beautiful baby we helped create, the nurses were all fussing over him.  And there was me just lying there, staring straight ahead.  Stiff with dread.  All I could think was "how many more times?  How many more times do I have to go through pregnancy?  Through labor and childbirth?  I don't want to do this for the next fifteen years straight.  I would like to never have to go through this again."

I'm not saying any of these thoughts were entirely rational.  And they weren't very holy.  But they were very human.

Even after we brought him home, my transition to caring for three kids - as I've mentioned before - was not easy.  It was NOT EASY.  For me to even admit this means it was a significant hardship for me. I am a person who is usually able to deal with stresses and challenges fairly well - I may get frazzled, but I never feel defeated.  But there were days this time around when I was not sure I could handle it.  When I felt like I was drowning.  I felt like I kept putting out feeble "calls for help", yet no one understood or listened.  Everyone expected me to be strong like always, and adjust to the new baby as easily as I had with the first two.  No one realized that I needed to be taken care of.

This expression of despair captures about how I felt

Tom and I have said from the beginning that we wanted a "big family" (whatever that means.  We don't have an ideal number - we're just thankful for what we get).  And we still do.  So it was hard for me for the longest time to understand why people could feel the need to postpone another baby unless there was some major major crisis in their life.  Why waste those fertile years?  Why go through the struggle and the hardship of trying to abstain and figure out God's plan each month, when you could just live out your married life naturally and let the babies come as they would?  Our grandmothers didn't have NFP to fall back on, and they had huge families, and seemed to be happy enough....

But I had begun to notice a trend on comment boards and internet forums.  In many cases, the people who were either the most critical about the use of NFP or the most fanatically impressed with it were rather young - with maybe one or two kids.  The ones who had the more measured and reasoned perspective on it were those who were older and often had many children: People who had endured the exhaustion and wear-and-tear of many pregnancies, but also felt pleasure and relief as their kids grew old enough to help and began to blossom into unique and wonderful people.  People who knew the anxiety and despair of an unintended pregnancy, yet had also found that those unplanned children were one of their life's greatest blessings.

I was talking to Tom only a few weeks before Linus was born about how I wouldn't be surprised if my perspective on welcoming new children continually changed as our family grew.  I realized that we could conceivably hit a point where we just felt too overwhelmed and as if we could use a break between pregnancies.  And now for the first time, I've had a taste of what that emotion is even like.

So I think I've gained some perspective now.  Every family and every person is different, and sometimes people really feel that they could use a "breather" between the babies in order to be a better parent.  (and I'm sure there are any number of other legitimate reasons for postponing a pregnancy, which I'm not mentioning now).  Most people wouldn't go through the struggle of practicing NFP unless they believed they had a legitimate reason.  Perhaps if they're honest with themselves, not all of those people do have legitimate reasons.  But maybe those reasons don't have to be as dire as I once thought.  If things hadn't settled down significantly for me this time around, maybe I'd be considering joining the ranks of those many confused women attempting to make sense of their wacky post-partum fertility signs right now...

But I am dealing better with everything.  Though life is still very busy with all the projects we're doing around the house, I think the toughest portion of the transition to having three kids has passed, and we've found a new rhythm.  (And um, can I just brag right here for a minute about my amazingly easy third baby?  He goes to bed at 9pm, wakes up once at 6 am to nurse, then goes right back to sleep until 10am or so.  It must be God's special gift to me!)  

So here's about how I'm feeling now: At this point, if someone told me "you are going to be handed a new baby in nine months", I'd say, "ok - things might be a little crazy, but I'm game."  But if someone told me, "starting today, you will have to suffer through another nine months of pregnancy, and then endure the travails of childbirth, and then have another child to take care of, making you the mother of four under five", I'd maybe flip out a little.  I really....don't like being pregnant (Tom is encouraging me to remove the word "hate" from my vocabulary).  But I do love new babies :-)

I still don't want to use NFP, and I still think it's important to think of it as something that is definitely less than the ideal.  But it's presumptuous to assume we will never have a reason to consider postponing a pregnancy.  Who knows what the future holds.  Who knows how my perspective will change as I gain experience and insights.  Seriously, I only have three kids now.  In my circles, that's a small family.  What do I really know yet about life and marriage and child-rearing?  Not much!  But I'm continually learning and growing.

Linus' Birth Story

"Put me back in!"

I had been warned by so many people that your third labor is often a "wild card."  Starting labor a week late was definitely unexpected, but other than that, the labor was much in the same pattern as my previous two kids.  And if anything, it actually went even more smoothly. I wish I could say that labor is less painful each time (wouldn't you think it should be?!), but it's definitely not.  Each time, though, I get better and better at dealing with the pain, and knowing what works best to help me through it.  So maybe in some ways, I could consider each of my deliveries "easier" than the one before.

 Building Towards Labor

I had been having contractions on and off each day for almost a week before I finally went into labor for real.  There had been so many false alarms and dashed hopes, and it was all very frustrating to deal with.  When labor started with my other two kids, it was very clear - but this time around, I was becoming convinced that my body was trying and just couldn't do it (Tom said it was like turning the throttle without starting the engine).  A number of women who had gone through similar situations assured me that the daily contractions weren't for nothing - that my body was doing real work to prepare for delivery, and that it would make the actual labor go more smoothly when it finally came.  I didn't want to hear that, though, so I didn't really let myself believe it.

Tuesday was one week past my due date.  I spent the morning cleaning the whole house.  What else did I have to do?  I even vacuumed the stairs, which was quite a feat consider the weight of our vacuum and the size of my stomach at that point.  Tom told me to take it easy, but I think my nesting urges were taking over.

I was scheduled to go see the midwives for a non-stress test in the afternoon just to make sure the baby was still doing alright.  While I was lying in the bed strapped to the heart monitor, I had a number of uncomfortable contractions.  The test finished up, baby looked good, and the midwife asked if I had any questions.  I told her that I was pretty much done being pregnant, and really just wanted this baby to come out.  She offered to check whether I was dilated, and to "sweep my membranes" if I wanted.  In case you are unfamiliar with the term, as I was, it is when the doctor/nurse sticks a finger inside your cervix and spins it in a circle to push the amniotic sac away from the cervix (not to break it).  Weird, I know.  Supposedly it releases prostaglandins which can help start labor.  She checked me, and I was already five centimeters dilated (I guess those contractions had been doing something afterall!), and then she did the - quite uncomfortable - membrane sweep.

I went home and settled on the couch to wait it out and see what might happen.  Tom was fortunately working from home that day, since he had needed to keep an eye on the older kids while I went to my appointment.  I continued having the occasional contractions, but wasn't getting my hopes up yet.  But two and a half hours later, things started to get real, and I knew it was finally finally time!  My dad was enlisted to come get the kids.  Unfortunately, it was 4:30pm at this point, and he was working in an office on the complete opposite end of town, so it was going to take him a while to get through traffic.

 The Hamburger Incident

So...earlier in the day, before I had known that labor would actually be starting, I had pulled out some ground beef to defrost, and had a conversation with Tom about all the ingredients I would be mixing into it to attempt some yummy restaurant-quality hamburgers for dinner.  Fast-forward to about 4:00 when contractions were starting to build (and I was already at LEAST five centimeters dilated, mind you).  Tom offered to make the dinner instead.  Fine and dandy.  Now fast-forward to 5:00, when I'm definitely in labor, and having to breathe through each contraction, and getting anxious because my dad is still not there.  Tom says something about how he'll just throw in a frozen pizza real quick instead (I figured he wanted to eat something himself before we left.  I figured the hamburgers were obviously totally out of the picture by that point).  I reminded him that the frozen pizza was all gone.  He said, "oh, well, I'll just figure something out", and went down to the kitchen, fortunately taking the kids with him to let me have some peace and quiet.

About fifteen minutes later, I hear pans banging all over the stove, and the unmistakable smell of hamburgers cooking.  What the heck?  I got really annoyed that instead of getting the kids' overnight bag and the other things I had asked him to collect around the house, or calling up the midwives for me, he was down there cooking hamburgers.  For who?  I certainly didn't want one, and I figured my dad was just going to feed the kids dinner.  We never even eat before 6:00 anyways.  I'm sitting upstairs alone and in pain, and he's down there surely making a huge mess in the kitchen [this fact was very much confirmed later], and he can't hear me when I call to him because he's banging around and sizzling up stupid hamburgers while I'm in labor!!!!

And then the kids must have sneaked away from him, because suddenly they were both upstairs with me, fussing because I wouldn't let them climb into my lap while I was sitting on the fun-looking exercise ball, and I started yelling for Tom to come up and get them RIGHT NOW!!  When he got up the stairs, I started into him: "Why the heck are you making hamburgers now?!  I DON'T WANT A HAMBURGER!!!!!"  He replied that he needed to feed the kids.  I yelled, "WE DON'T NEED TO FEED THE KIDS!  MY DAD CAN FEED THE KIDS!" and then we both started yelling, and things got ugly, and I finally screamed - yes, right in front of my children - "I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!" and I slammed and locked the door in his face, and went to sit back on my exercise ball, and cry angry tears through the next few lonely contractions.

It was a bad moment, man.  I'm not proud of myself.  Truly, a woman's most animalistic instincts come out when she's in labor.

My dad finally arrived, and my emotions eventually settled down a bit.  The drive to the hospital was pretty silent, because Tom and I both needed some time to cool off.  Once we arrived there, I think there was an unspoken agreement to just forget it had ever happened, and deal with the business ahead.

Transition

My doula, Bethany, arrived within minutes and I got changed into the gown.  The midwife came in and checked me again - almost 8 centimeters dilated already! 

I was ready to get to work, so I asked the nurse to find me a birth ball.  Sitting on the ball had been my salvation with the other two labors - it feels great to just stay on it almost until it's time to push.   The nurse frowned and said, "oh...there are a lot of women here today who use the midwives...all the birth balls are in use."  Me, Tom, and Bethany exchanged looks of horror.  The nurse could see how important it was for me, so promised to see what she could do.  A few minutes later, she entered triumphantly holding a ball....the dinkiest little exercise ball I've ever seen. I'm not kidding, it was about a foot and a half off the ground.  I gave it a half-second chance, and it failed utterly.  I was practically sitting on the floor.  Not happening.

So I ended up just sitting in a chair for most of the labor.  It was a little harder for Bethany to sit behind me pressing my pelvis during contractions (which is always the thing my body "wants."  My labors follow a very similar pattern each time), but it worked.  Tom's job during contractions was the stroke my arms in a downward motion, helping me to stay loose and relaxed. 

I find that I'm very focused and business-like during my labors.  I know what I need, and I just ask for it.  By this point, I'm not hesitant to assign tasks to my husband or my doula as needed.  Between contractions, I either chat with them both or encourage them to chat together while I just relax.  When I feel a contraction about to start, I say, "ok!" and everyone gets into position, and stops talking until it's passed.

When I arrived at the hospital, I was already in the dreaded "transition" phase of labor.  When Stella was born, transition was really rough.  But transition with both Sly and Linus just meant slightly more intense contractions.  I realized later what made the difference: my water had already been broken before transition when I had Stella.  When an amniotic sac is still intact, it makes the contractions more gentle. 

During all of my births, I have had to ask the midwives to break my water for me.  All three midwives have also remarked about the unusual thickness of my sacs...haha (sorry, that's kind of a gross detail.  At least I will not be sharing with you the photo Tom took of it afterwards!).  Labor tends to slow way down for me towards the end, I ask the midwife to break my water, and then things pick right up, and a baby soon arrives.

Baby is Born

The slow-down started happening, and things were getting more painful.   I moved to sit upright in the bed.  Tom and Bethany were enlisted to place icy washcloths on my forehead and chest between contractions.  They were coming farther apart at this point, and between each one, I closed my eyes and almost fell asleep. 

Eventually, the midwife suggested she check me, and we consider breaking my water.  I was almost completely dilated, except for a small "lip" of my cervix.  She did break my water, and then wanted me to try other positions to make that lip move out of the way.  I absolutely did not want to try any of her suggestions.  I wanted to just recline in the bed and not support my own weight.  So I asked if she would be able to move it out of the way manually.  It just took a couple contractions, and she had cleared the way.  Baby was all ready to go, and I had the ok to push with the next contraction.

I was again disappointed my how under-equipped the hospital was that night, because they couldn't find the "mirror on a stand" which I had used when I had the other kids.  Some women have no interest in watching themselves give birth, but I find it extremely motivating to be able to see that my pushes are actually doing something.  The nurses searched every delivery room for the mirror with no luck.  So I had to do it blindly this time. 

It took the first contraction for me to remember what "pushing" is supposed to feel like, and where to focus my energy.  But I was ready for the next one.  In one gigantic and drawn-out push, Linus went from not even crowning yet to being completely born!  I was so determined to just get him out!

They put him on my chest immediately.  Tom started bawling with joy, as always.  I stared into space in shock and relief, as always, my whole body twitching with adrenaline. Labor was about six hours total, which is my fastest yet.

Anyways, Linus was perfectly healthy.  I didn't tear or have any complications, so my recovery has been fine.  I have to say, I am so so happy not to be pregnant right now.  And it's wonderful to have a snuggly little newborn in the house again.  I'm already getting sad because I know how fleeting this time is.

meeting their new little brother

Baby Number Three!!

Well, he's finally arrived!

 

Linus Joseph

Born 10: 11 pm on April 1st

8 lbs 8 oz. and 20 inches long

 

We're all doing well, and I'll give more details about the birth soon.

 

Deciding to surprise us all by being a week late was his first-ever April Fool's joke :-)

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 38)

Well, I'm three days past due now, and the baby is still quite snug and happy on the inside....but I promise all my "takes" won't be about that (despite it being the most prominent thing on my mind these days!).

 -1-

After my due date (Tuesday) came and went with no baby arriving, I decided to do what I could to help things along.  I was reading lots of articles online about "natural ways to induce labor"  (and I just saw that Ana linked to a great past post about many of these methods, which you can read here). 

Wednesday morning, I did a bunch of them in succession, and to my pleasant surprise, something actually "worked."  I began having contractions!  They continued through the morning, some of them strong enough that I figured I was to the point where I'd better take some action and rally the forces.  I had Tom come home from work (with his laptop, so he could at least keep working until it was time to go to the hospital), my mom came over to pick up the kids, and our doula was put "on notice" and kept in touch with us by phone throughout the day. 

All afternoon, Tom and I sat around waiting, writing down the timing of my contractions and feeling pretty excited that we would meet our baby soon.  But as the day wore on, things started slowing down.  I tried all the labor-inducing tricks again, and they just weren't working anymore.  By early evening, I finally admitted defeat as the contractions totally fizzled out. 

And then I just felt such a sense of guilt.  I had inconvenienced so many people in my rush to get my labor going.  Tom had lost a lot of time he could have used to finish up a pressing project for work, my doula had surely cleared her schedule and arranged childcare for the day, my mom had committed to watching my kids, and my dad was prematurely excited (and texting/calling just a little too often) about the impending birth.  My mom offered to keep the kids overnight anyways, just in case things should start up again.  But they never did.  And I had to drive over and pick them up in the morning.

-2- 

So yesterday, I decided to just let it go.  I'm not going to try to force it.  When it's time, it will happen.  That's not to say that I'm not still anxious to meet my baby, or that I'm not still fearful about the possibility of an induction.  But I have a lot more peace about things now.  I can't just put life totally on hold waiting, and I can't let myself get disappointed and cranky each day that baby doesn't come.  And if I'm honest with myself, I haven't set myself up to have a very focused Lent this year, so it's good for me to just offer up this time of waiting.

-3-

While packing up our books for the impending move, I was happy to discover a couple good Lenten titles that I didn't know/had forgotten we owned.  We have a TON of great old (and by old, I mean, many from the late 1800s/early 1900s) Catholic books - most of which Tom acquired from various generous friends before we were married.  But with the huge pile of books already on my "must read" list, I don't often take the time to dig through our own bookshelves and see what little gems might be there.
 

I just finished Fr. Weiser's The Easter Book, which explains many historic and ethnic Lenten and Easter practices.  It's a companion to his Christmas Book which I read during Advent.  I would recommend both titles to anyone looking to celebrate the Liturgical Year in their families [I found ours for a few bucks each at the local Catholic used bookstore...the one I linked at $60 is overpriced, so shop around if you are interested in getting it].  Last night, I started on The Passion Of Our Lord by Cardinal De Lai [our version is an old one, so I can't vouch for the quality of this re-publication that I linked to], and hope to finish it before Easter.  I'm not far yet, but it looks like it will be informative and inspiring - it shares reflections on the Gospels of the Passion.

-4-

So.....there was a guy murdered in front of his house on the street next to ours a few nights ago (it was a drug-related thing...).  Tom and I got the scoop from some neighbors who actually witnessed it, and (wisely, I believe) decided *not* to mention the incident to our parents.  No need to freak them out.  But my dad must have seen it on the news, because now he keeps e-mailing us updates about the case.  But I have to say...it does make it a little bit easier to have to leave this house in a couple weeks.

-5-

We don't let Sly watch much tv.  If Tom had his way, Sly would probably never see a single show or movie for his entire childhood.  But a couple mornings a week, I do let him watch a half hour to an hour of whatever's on PBS.  He enjoys it, and it seems to be a short enough time not to have a negative effect on him. 

But my mom is one of those people who literally has the television on 24 hours a day.  When Sly goes over there, it's ALL he does.  When the kids were over her house on Tuesday, I know (from talking to him later) that he watched at LEAST three movies (Toy Story, Puss in Boots, and Homeward Bound), plus some "kids' shows".  I don't have a problem with him watching a movie every now and then, but that is just ridiculous.  When I picked the kids up the next morning, I felt like I had to spend the day helping him to "detox" from the zombie-like state he was in...

I have brought it up before, but I don't think my mom gets why it's a concern.  I'm not sure she'd really know what to do with him the whole time, if she couldn't rely on the tv.  It's sort of a sensitive situation....but I do need her free babysitting services sometimes!  Anyone deal with a similar situation before?

-6-

I should have posted this a few weeks ago, but...better late than never, right?  A friend shared with me a great guide that her priest put together to explain Lent/Easter and the various Liturgical activities, symbolism, events, etc. connected with them. 

Fr. Smith's Lent and Easter Guide 2014 [this opens up a dropbox where you can download the pdf]

The other guides on here also look very useful! 

-7-

As we've been packing up their toys, the kids have started to make fun with other objects around the house.  The past few days, the big amusement has been climbing together into an empty laundry basket, and tipping out of it, laughing.  Sometimes I wonder why we have toys at all...

Quick Takes is hosted at Conversion Diary

No Baby Yet...

Just in case anyone was wondering.

Today is my due date.  I know plenty of people go past their due date, so I really shouldn't be complaining or feeling as disappointed as I am.  Since my other kids came a little early, I was just totally mentally prepared for the same thing to happen this time around.  And then it didn't.  It's that darn "wild card third baby" thing everyone talks about.

I've never felt so "ready" before, though.  When I went into labor with Sly a week early, I had been fully anticipating going past my due date.  It took me five hours of contractions to finally admit to myself that it was the real thing.  I didn't have my bags packed or the car seat installed or anything fully set up yet.  When Stella came five days early, I still hadn't finished knitting her baby blanket or picking up any of the little baby items we needed to replenish.  But this time around, the bags (one for me at the hospital, and one for the kids for wherever they end up staying) are fully packed and waiting in the car.  I have purchased every last thing I "need" for the baby (including his very own pacifier clip, which I suddenly felt the urge to run out and get yesterday).  Everything is laid out and set up.  I've been extra on-top of the laundry to make sure no one will run out of clean clothes or diapers for the few days when I'll be unable to wash things.  I'm ready.

The most discouraging part was that last night at my midwife appointment, she had to initiate the discussion about all the things that would need to happen as I continued to stay pregnant past my due date.  I had to schedule a couple non-stress tests for next week.  And if nothing happens after two weeks, I'll have to head in for the dreaded induction. 

If I was planning on having an epidural for the birth anyways, I'd absolutely be saying "sign me up for that induction TODAY! I am sooooo ready to get this baby out."  But as I'm hoping for another natural birth, enduring the tortuous (and quite unnatural) Pitocin-induced contractions I've heard so many horror stories about is absolutely not what I want.  I know that I can deal with the sufferings and pains of birth, but I'm not a martyr. 

It's frustrating too, because I have a lot of things I need to get done for the new house - appointments to schedule, etc., but I have to just keep my schedule open, because I have no idea when the baby might arrive.  I can't put anything on the calendar.  I've shown up to a few social events in the past few days that I had been assuming I wouldn't be able to attend....and then just feeling rather depressed that I'm there at all, because it means I didn't have my baby yet, as hoped.  I haven't been planning any meals or keeping many groceries in the house, because I worry I may end up not using them and letting things go to waste.  So every dinner for the past week has come out of a sort of a last-minute scrounging effort, once I've admitted to myself that this day is, unfortunately, not going to be the day either.

Sorry for all the complaining in this post.  I know I'm not being very rational right now.

Anyways,  I should go see what sort of dessert I can whip up from things we have in the pantry, since today is the Feast of the Annunciation...another great potential birthday for any little babies who might decide to be born today....(please, baby!).

The Baby Turned!!

I wrote yesterday about how nervous I was getting, at 39 weeks pregnant, having a baby that was stubbornly continuing to face forward ("sunny side up")  rather than backward.  Many of you offered your advice, experiences, and prayers, and I am so grateful - thank you, all.

I spent a lot of time yesterday evening "researching" what might be in store for me with a sunny side up labor, and getting more and more determined to get that baby turned around.  I kept coming across scary phrases like "long drawn-out stop and go labor" and "excruciating back pain."  The gist I got was: "yes, it's very possible to have a natural birth when the baby is in the posterior position, but OH MY GOSH do everything possible to make it flip before then!!"

Here are the primary methods I tried:

1. Going through the Miles Circuit, suggested to me by my ever-reliable doula.

2.  Having Tom use a make-shift rebozo on me (a bed sheet). It is a pretty silly-looking operation, and it was hard not to laugh through it.



3. Being mindful of leaning forward while sitting, rocking on an exercise ball while I did the ironing, and avoiding any sort of reclining position whatsoever.  I wish someone had stressed to me how important it was to avoid too much laying around during the end of pregnancy....you know, before I spent every night during the past few months alternately lying in a warm bath reading a book, or lying on the couch knitting and watching movies!

4. Fervently praying that the baby would turn.


I can't say exactly which of these was the clincher (though #4 probably played a big role), but somehow, miraculously, it worked!  When I went to my midwife appointment today, two midwives confirmed that the baby had turned himself the right way. 

I feel so relieved.  And as if I'm finally "ready" for this to happen.  Tomorrow is St. Joseph's Day, which is the day I've sort of been hoping for as our new little son's birthday.  We'll see.... :-)

A Bit of Green

...for St. Patrick's Day, I suppose.

I finally finished the baby blanket I've been knitting.  Perhaps (please?) just in the nick of time.  It's a lovely deep green color (Knitpicks' jalapeno).

***

As for celebrating St. Patrick's Day, I'm still hoping to bake some soda bread today, even though the afternoon is wearing on.  Dinner will likely be something non-festive, as Tom will be eating elsewhere for a work thing, and let's face it...when the man of the house is away, I have little motivation to cook anything exciting.  The kids don't care anyways.  So it might be something random like chicken nuggets with a side of soda bread :-)

Later, I'm hoping we can pray the famous St. Patrick's Breastplate prayer, from which you might recognize these lines:

Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ in breadth, Christ in length, Christ in height,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of every man who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.

When I was younger, I would go all out on St. Patrick's Day, and deck myself out in green and shamrocks.  My heritage is more than 50% Irish, which is something I'm fairly proud of.  But today, I am ashamed to admit, I accidentally found myself wearing orange :-(

(In my defense, the orange top is one of the few I have left that doesn't leave my big bare belly popping out the bottom.)

***

I'm starting to feel a little nervous about my labor.  The baby is due on the 25th, but the other two were born about a week early.  I had been pretty much expecting the same this time around.  But recently, I've had EVERYONE and her mother (ha - literally), reminding me that "third child is the wild card!!" with a big smile on her face.  Each of the midwives in the practice, as well as anyone I know who has three or more kids has said this to me.  Great.

Plus, this baby is not facing the right way!!  He's head-down, thank goodness, but he's looking towards my front instead of my back (the "posterior position").  According to what I've read, this can mean a longer pregnancy, longer labor, and more chances for interventions.  Gah!  I have visions of going two weeks past my due date, being in labor for 24 hours, and ending up with a C-section.  I might be kinda a pessimist.

I've been trying to do inversions to help the baby turn the right way, but so far, no luck.  I feel like I'm running out of time here!  Any ideas for what else might coax him to turn?

Has anyone else had experience with a posterior baby and natural childbirth?

From a 1931 Obstetrics Textbook

A few months back, I found a gem of a book for $1 at a thrift store.  It's a rather fragile 1931 textbook written for those learning to be obstetric nurses.  I have a real interest in learning about pregnancy and childbirth, especially in the history of how these processes were approached in times past as compared to the modern ways.

Not surprisingly, things were rather different in the early 30's.  Many women still gave birth at home, though a lot of them went to special hospitals for the birth.  After the baby was born, women were expected to stay in bed (called "lying-in") for at least two weeks.  Doctors still often worked on women "blindly", reaching in to examine them under a sheet, so as to preserve her modesty.  And the doctors and nurses were absolutely obsessed with sterilization.  This isn't surprising.  At this time, people had finally come to understand that the "puerperal fever" which had tragically killed so many new mothers during the previous century was actually the result of infection - often unknowingly caused by the doctor himself.  But this was still before the advent of antibiotics.  So the best solution was to just be extremely rigorous about making everything completely and utterly aseptic.

So you get unsettling suggestions like,

"Some parturients [women in labor] are unruly, and persist, against advice, in putting the hands on the sterile abdominal towel or even on the vulva.  In such a case the nurse should tie them loosely at the head of the bed."

I can't say I'd appreciate giving birth with my hands tied to the bed.  My favorite part of this quote is that such women are called "unruly"!

***

The book explained another practice I just could not abide, the lying-in period after birth:

"The writer's practice is to allow the woman to have the back-rest on the fifth day, to sit bolt upright on the seventh day, to get out into a rocker or Morris chair on the tenth, stand on her feet on the eleventh, have the freedom of the room on the twelfth, and go down stairs on the fifteenth day."

Ugh.  I could be forced to spend maybe one day lying in bed after birth, but beyond that, it would be torturous.  I need to be up and moving again!

***

Some of the baby-care practices were pretty different from today as well.  It seems the nurses urged mothers to waste no time in getting the baby on a strict nursing schedule and to commence immediate sleep training:

"The baby is put to the breast every eight hours until the milk comes, then every four hours during the day, but not during the night.  The first nursing is a 6 A.M., the last at 10:30 P.M., and the child is put to the breast once during the night if it seems really necessary.  The four-hour schedule is for robust children.  Those under 2700 Gms. [5.95 lbs] and those that do not gain after the eighth day have a three-hour schedule: 6, 9, 12, 3, 6, and the last feeding about 10 P.M."

Four hours between nursing?!  How could anyone stand to wait so long?  Most babies would start screaming long before four hours had passed (and I'm sure the breasts would be uncomfortably teeming).  I'm all for gradual night-time weaning, but a newborn baby is just not ready to go for an eight-hour stretch without nursing at night.  I really wonder how many women still followed this schedule, after they were out from under the watchful eye of their nurses.

***

There was a section about the baby's layette, and what materials you should prepare.  So many women still made clothes by hand (either sewing, or knitting) at this time.  I was particularly interested in the recommendations for cloth diapers, since I wanted to see what was used then as compared to all the fancy types we have available these days.  The book recommends:

"Four to six dozen diapers of cotton diaper cloth 20x40 inches.  These can be bought in sealed packages or made at home.  Two dozen cheese-cloth squares 1 yard square to use folded inside the diaper.  Ten or twelve dozen pieces of clean white absorbent cloth 10 inches square (old linen or cotton) to be used inside the diapers."

I'm very curious about how this worked.  Did the "diaper" go on the outside sort of like a diaper cover, with the cheese-cloth acting as a "doubler" and the white absorbent cloth as a "diaper liner" (to use the cloth diaper parlance of today)?


In the section explaining the type of stockings you should get for your baby (presumably because the babies of the time were all put in dress-like garments, and their legs might get cold), they suggest

"machine-made woolens...which are easily washed and fit comfortably over the diaper at the knee."

Huh?  The knee?!  Just how huge were those diapers?  Or is it just because newborn's knees tend to be bend upwards all the time?

 ***

Anyways, it's been an interesting book to read.  I'm not even halfway through yet, but if I find anymore ponderables like these, I can share them in a future entry.  

Though I've peeked ahead to the "Grave Disturbances During Pregnancy" and "Complications During Labor" chapters and let me tell you, there are some pretty gruesome pictures there.  It might be best for me to wait until after I've given birth.

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 36)

 -1-

It just hit me this week that I'm going to have a baby in a MONTH.  It's not like there's much to get ready....I pretty much know what I'm doing by now, and we already have all the "baby stuff" - it's just a matter of dragging it all up from the basement (a job for my husband, and not me).  But I'm not sure that I've really mentally prepared for it.

-2-

Tom is scheduled to go on a business trip less than two weeks before my due date (!).  It's something he *could* get out of, but it's potentially useful for his career that he go.  We've been discussing the pros and cons.  My other two kids were born a little early - seven days and five days, respectively.  Still, the chances of this baby being farther ahead of schedule seem rather slim....

On the other hand, if I did go into labor while Tom was gone, it would be a pretty big deal.  To be honest, I don't think I'd mind too much about my husband missing the birth (at least I'll still have my doula with me!).  It's that I would have to deal with all the arrangements completely by myself - having contractions at home (hopefully at home, and not out somewhere!) while making frantic phone calls, trying to find someone willing to pick up and entertain my kids for the day (or night?) as well as a ride to the hospital for myself.  Usually, Tom handles all that stuff, because while I'm in labor, I'm just not in the right state of mind to deal with all that crap.

We still haven't made the final decision about what he's going to do....but I think we're leaning towards him going.  Yikes!

-3-

Earlier this week, I watched Milo and Otis for the first time since I was really young.  Oh. my. goodness.  First of all, I felt like the whole premise of the film was: "let's have Milo and Otis encounter any and every type of creature we can get ahold of - whether or not it makes sense for that species to appear in this particular landscape - and just see what they do with each other."  Did you know that lobsters and crabs live on farms?  Neither did I.  It really strained credibility to see the combinations of animals that supposedly lived together in this imaginary country.

But mostly, I was seriously disturbed the entire time by all the risky situations they put those poor animals into.  Was it really necessary to send the cat down a waterfall in a wooden box, or have the dog fight with a bear?  There is NO WAY some animals weren't killed or seriously injured during the filming.  I checked Wikipedia, and it seems that many others have had the same concerns...

-4-

It seems like all the cool bloggers are going to the Edel Gathering this summer.  It sounds like a really great event, but unfortunately, I won't be there.  Not only would it be difficult to swing financially, but....having to bring a four-month old baby would just make it a lot less enjoyable, I have to be honest!  I'll try not to feel jealous of the opportunity to meet so many interesting Catholic ladies.

-5-

I've been starting to think about Lent (which starts March 5th this year!), how I should observe it, and what to give up.  I'm afraid the whole season will get rather overshadowed by all the stressful (but exciting) things we have going on these next two months: signing on the house, fixing up some stuff in the house prior to move-in, giving birth, planning a baptism, moving day... (ideally in this order, but the "having a baby" part I don't really have any control over!).

-6-

I'm thinking I should definitely reduce my internet use during Lent, since it can get out-of-control at times.  And I don't even own a laptop, tablet, smartphone, or any of that stuff.  Very intentionally, we have only a desktop computer.  And that is temptation enough for me, believe me.  A practice I think would be good, yet challenging, is to not allow myself to use the internet except when the kids are in bed - for naps or the night.  So many times during the day, I pop into the room just to "check my e-mail", and it turns into twenty minutes of browsing Facebook or reading random articles people post about "23 things you'll only remember if you were born in the 80s" or something else stupid like that.  It's unnecessary, and it takes time away from my family.

Kendra has some great ideas for Lent that I will have to look over again.

-7-

Aaaaand, because I'm running out of ideas, I'll share a few recent quotes from my little man.

Listening to a song with the lyric, "there he knelt down on the floor."
Sly: "That song just said 'meltdown on the floor' - Stella does that!!"

Sly, to Tom, as soon as he walked in the door after work: "Mommy said I can't have a snack because I lied. What's up with that?!"

Sly and I were waiting forever for Stella to climb up the stairs.
Me: "What's taking her so long?"
Sly: "Probably gravity."

Quick Takes is hosted at Conversion Diary

Our Sort-of "Babymoon" in Phoenix

Tom and I visited our friends in Phoenix, AZ over the Thanksgiving weekend so we could become the godparents of their new baby.  It was such an honor to be asked, and I'm very happy to have a godson now.
 

We left our kids with Tom's parents for four whole days.  We've never been away from Sly for more than one night, and have never been away from Stella overnight at all.  I was worried that they might miss us or have a tough time adjusting, but I was totally wrong.  Each day we called to see how they were doing.  Stella was apparently in a better mood than ever, and learning all sorts of new tricks that I've been unable to help her do for all of her 15+ months (such as walking for real, and climbing down stairs).  Sly would be put on the phone to say hi to us, and then quickly say, "I'm done talking to you now" and hand off the phone to the grandparents!  Geez - so much for missing us, kids!

It was nice to get away by ourselves for a bit, though.  Anytime Tom and I find ourselves out without the kids for whatever reason, we joke that we're "on a date," and make sure to do the little things we never get to do anymore, such as holding hands or (in my case) actually having a car door held open for me (since Tom isn't busy loading a kid into a car seat!).  So we called this a four-day-long date, including the boring parts in the airports and everything in between.

On a date.  Tom doesn't like flowers in his hair.

Pheonix was, of course, quite different from my hometown of Pittsburgh...

Positives: It was interesting to see all the new flora and fauna.  I have never been to the southwest before, nor have I ever seen a desert in real life.  My mind kept imagining the early settlers who first came across this land, and what they must have thought about it, and how they would have lived.  There is a lot of cowboy and Native American history there, and it was fun to learn a bit about it.  Also, we ate some delicious meals.  There are a lot of great bars and restaurants to check out.

Pony express statue

Saguaro cactus

Negatives: We could sit outside in short sleeves in December.  Many people might see this as a good thing, but I don't think I could ever stand living somewhere that didn't have seasons.  Yes, I may get sick of the snow and cold come February....but at least I get to experience it each year!  And there's no grass there, except for the few places which are artificially watered like crazy...which seems somewhat ecologically irresponsible to me.  Also, there's hardly anything there that's old.  Almost all the buildings are 1950's or newer, and just not architecturally interesting to me at all.

Can't you just picture a western movie taking place here?

Believe it or not, I'm only 5 or 6 months pregnant, or so....(I lose track all the time).

Mountains!  Palm trees!

Pretty much every plant in Arizona can seriously hurt you, as we found out the hard way (Tom is doing a re-enactment)

There Needs to be "Quick Takes" on a Monday!

 I just have some random unrelated things to say.


Babymoon?

Our soon-to-be godson was born earlier this month!  Tom and I are flying to Phoenix where his parents now live (unfortunately, because we really miss them) to be at the baptism.  Without the kids.  For FOUR DAYS.  Sly has been away from us for maybe...one night, when Stella was born.  But Stella has never been away from us before.  I'm not sure which of us this will be harder on!  My in-laws are bravely and generously agreeing to watch the kids for us all that time.

Since this is such a rare opportunity for Tom and I, though, I feel like we really need to try to make the most of it.  Also, we'll be away over Tom's birthday - a great additional reason to celebrate!  I've never really considered taking a "babymoon" - a special get-away for the parents before a new baby comes and makes life even more crazy - but Kendra discussed it recently, and it does sound appealing.  If we can hold this concept in mind while we're away, I think it could make for a really pleasant little trip.

Allergies

My eyes have been bothering me for several months now.  My contacts just felt really terrible most days, so throughout August and September, I was only wearing them about half the time.  The past couple months, I haven't even attempted to put them in at all.  Various times during the day, my eyes feel irritated (the way they feel when I have a contact in that gets dirty or ripped) or even sting a little. 

I finally saw the eye doctor about it, and he said I have a pretty significant allergic reaction going on.  I won't be able to wear contacts again until we clear it up, which will require medication.  I told him I was pregnant, though, and I think he was actually a little annoyed by that news.  He said he doesn't feel comfortable prescribing anything while I'm pregnant, so I'll just have to wait....four months!  Ugh.  I'm getting sick of my glasses.  The kids are constantly touching the lenses or knocking them around.

I tend to be somewhat skeptical about allergies, since it seems like everyone and their mother is "allergic" to something these days.  Seriously - how did people come this far being allergic to common things like grass and pollen??  But I've suspected for a while that I might be allergic to something.  For instance, every morning when I walk into my kitchen for the first time, I sneeze like crazy for about 10-15 minutes.  I have no idea why.  It doesn't happen for the rest of the day, but there must be something in there that's irritating me. 

The eye doctor said it wouldn't be a bad idea to have allergy testing at some point.  What's that involve, though?  Can they do that while I'm pregnant?


Tom's job

I mentioned a couple weeks ago that Tom and I had to consider the possibility of him totally changing career tracks.  He was given an offer to work for a Catholic radio station.  It would have been a significant boost in salary, as well as a much more pleasant work environment for Tom.  But then there was the hour commute each way to consider, and the fact that we were not willing to move very much closer to the job.  Also, the radio station has a very clear cap on how high (position-wise and salary-wise) Tom could potentially move.  Maybe it wouldn't actually  matter, but since we don't know what the future has in store for us, it was a little concerning.  Anyways, his current employer gave him a counter-offer that was good enough to make Tom decide to stay. 

Ultimately, Tom's decision was the result of prayer.  I won't go into all the personal details, but I really think this was one of the only times Tom has ever felt absolutely certain that he was being given a clear answer to a prayer, and it was a pretty beautiful thing to see how overwhelmed with emotion that made him.

Thank you for everyone who was praying for us.


Etsy

We're still keeping up with our Etsy shop.  The good news is, we haven't wasted any money on it.  Including the initial cost for all our merchandise as well as various packing supplies we've needed, we've still made a profit overall.  The bad news is, the profit is pretty small when you consider how many hours we've put into it.  This really is much more of a hobby than a business.  We're still enjoying it for now, so we aren't planning to stop.  But we'll see how much it starts to take over our free time (and our free closet space!  That's the one thing I think eBay sales really have on Etsy.  After the auction ends, you get to mail that stuff away!  No storing it for an indefinite period until someone decides to buy it!).


Doula

I found out that I can actually get a doula paid for by our insurance this time around.  That's a pretty great deal, because you usually need to pay out-of-pocket, and they run around $500-$700 (at least from the research I've done). 

I had scheduled with a doula from the specific doula group the insurance required me to use.  But I just didn't feel comfortable with it.  We had the same doula, Bethany, at the birth of both Sly and Stella, and we really loved her.  I already knew that she worked well with me and Tom, and I felt nervous taking a chance on someone new to be there at such a crucial and sensitive time as my baby's birth!  I knew Bethany would love to be there for our third birth, and hated to feel as if we were leaving her out (and keeping it a secret from her).  Tom and I discussed it, and decided that with his promised raise at the job, we should allow ourselves the "luxury" of paying to have Bethany again.  She very happily agreed to it, and I'm feeling a lot better about the birth now!

It's a Boy!

We finally had our ultrasound today (the hospital inexplicably refused to schedule me until I was over 19 weeks this time around), and got to see our healthy new baby boy.  Sly is pretty excited.  He's been saying he hopes the baby is "a brother, because I already have a sister."  Makes sense to me.

My intuition had been telling me it was a girl.  Of course, I was wrong for Stella too, so I guess I just have a bad sense for baby gender!  It took a few minutes for it to sink in that we have another boy instead.  Also, I feel like no mothers ever admit this, but I'm just gonna go ahead and say it: I *wanted* it to be another girl.

Not that I'm not going to love this baby just as much as my others, because that's just how it works.  And once he's born and the whole family is together, I'll know that of course he should have been just who he is.
But I've always had the sense that I would relate better with daughters than with sons, and I have a premonition that - following the footsteps of every other woman in my entire extended family - I will end up with many more sons than daughters.  And I think that concerns me a little.  Ah, well.  "Boys are easier" anyways, so people keep telling me.

The baby is healthy, so I am more than happy.

We do have a name picked out, chosen before Sly was even born as the name for a "future second son."  It was my choice, and Tom wasn't crazy about it at first.  But I insisted that since he essentially chose Sylvester - a name it took me a long time to not hate! - for our first son, that it was my turn to choose for the next (there was actually a really cool tradition in his family that basically demanded that we give him that name.  And who am I to break an eight-generation tradition?).  We haven't really discussed whether we're sharing that name until the birth, though, so I'd better just keep quiet for now.

7 Quick Takes (Vol. 33)

-1-

A blog-friend recently shared a link to a great post over at a blog for my mom about "Mom Style."

I can totally get behind everything Rosie says in this post.  I've long believed that moms can be comfortable and practical while wearing clothes that are classier than sweatpants/yoga pants and a t-shirt.  I love that she includes a number of photos to show you what she's talking about. 

A few passages that really resonated with me:

"Take stock of how your bones have moved - if it's just fat stores that are preventing certain clothing items from fitting and you can't bear to part from them, stick them in the back of the closet and try them on again in a few months.  But if your ribcage has expanded as much as mine has, you're going to have to face it:

There are some dresses you have that will never zip again.  And you don't need to keep them."

So unfortunate, but so true!  Last year, I finally accepted that most of my zipper-back dresses would just never be able to fit again, and finally gave them away.  Now, I look for dresses made of stretchy fabrics without zippers that I know will fit me.

"Does it work for early pregnancy AND the post-partum stage?  Can you wear it all the way through a pregnancy?  Or will it only fit for those 6 weeks when I've lost all the pregnancy weight but haven't gotten pregnant again?"

This is another truth I've only recently learned.  I've been in transitional stages myself for almost the past four years (pregnant, post-partum before losing the baby belly, nursing, very brief window of "normal belly and not nursing").  It's just not practical to have three or four separate wardrobes to work for me during all these stages, and I still hope to have more babies down the road. 

Everything new I've purchased (well, "new to me" since I almost only buy used clothes these days) has been with these questions in mind: Will it still work for early pregnancy, before I need maternity clothes?  Will it fit post-partum when I still have a belly?  Is it loose and unfussy enough for discreet nursing?  There are a lot of tops that can meet all these criteria - mostly of the "flowy" or slightly looser variety [I hate layering, so look for a one-garment solution rather than having to combine and dirty several items in order to acheive practicality and modesty].  I tend to like the peasant top look, and these can work well for a lot of stages. 

 -2-

A friend recently had a sweet baby boy.  We went to visit them a few days ago, and he was just so tiny and new.  Suddenly, I'm so aware of how huge Stella has gotten.  She's barely a baby anymore!  I'm glad I have another on the way already, because I would be feeling major baby fever right now.

big girl!

I've been making a conscious effort to pay more attention to her recently (aww, my poor second child).  Sly tends to hog the spotlight with his bombastic personality and his ability to have real conversations.  I realized that at the same age, we were doing a lot more "stuff" with Sly that we just haven't really been doing with Stella...such as reading  *baby appropriate* books, or having conversations with her even though she'll just respond with smiles and noises.  I've noticed that she is much happier now and also learning things more quickly.  Oh man, I sound like a terrible mom!

-3-

Tom has a potential job opportunity that is going to require some major deliberation.
Immediate pros: He'd be working for a good Catholic employer at a "company" which promotes the Faith, and it pays significantly better than his current position. 
Immediate cons: Tom would have an hour+ commute each way (!), we'd need to own two cars, and the hours - at least initially - are not as family friendly (he'd be home in the mornings, but gone the rest of the day, including dinnertime and kids' bedtime.  Also, the schedule is not M-F, but changes).

Many things to consider and pray about!

-4-

The kids and I were making necklaces with wooden beads, and I pointed out a teal bead and said, "this is Mommy's favorite color."  When Sly finished his necklace, he said he wanted to make one for me, which I thought was sweet.  I had to run upstairs for something, and when I came back, I saw this:

He used all teal beads for my necklace!  This probably seems like no big deal, but it is the first time he's ever done something thoughtful like this totally unprompted.  And simultaneously, it's probably the most "artistic" creation he's ever made on his own (since it has symmetry).  That boy is so far not gifted in the art department.  haha.  But we'll keep doing crafts!

-5-

As an example of Sly's typical 3-year-old inability to consider other people's likes and desires over his own, consider this conversation from earlier.

Me: "Sly, what should we get Daddy for his birthday?"
Sly: "A toy dinosaur.  And a puzzle.  And a toy guitar."

haha....I wonder who would benefit from those gifts?

-6-

And because I'm running out of ideas for these Quick Takes, more Sly quotes from the past week!

Sly: "I'm still hungry. What are we gonna do about that?"


I heard Stella start to cry, and Sly say to her: "It's ok, Stella. I was just being a gnome."
Me: "Sly...did you hurt her?"
Sly [matter-of-factly]: "Yeah. With my gnome teeth!"


I told Sly that he got his big head from Daddy. He walked over to Tom and said, "Daddy, thank you for sharing your big head with me."

-7-

My mom had a pair of maternity tights sent to me in the mail (yay!), and it came with two free "$20 credit" codes for Shutterfly - I think they made a mistake by putting in two....heck yeah!  Christmas presents for the grandparents....here I come!

Quick Takes are hosted at Conversion Diary

An Announcement

We are expecting another baby!


I've known for what feels like ages, and it's been so hard to keep it in.  Tom and I are in disagreement about how soon to spread the news.  He prefers to wait...I think there might be more complex reasons under the surface, but the main one he gives is to wait for the risk of miscarriage to decrease.  But having experienced a miscarriage in the past, I feel like the more people we can get praying for the safety of the baby early, the better!

I'm due on March 25th.  It's the Feast of the Annunciation, so it's easy to remember.  Of course, my other two came a bit early, so this one probably won't get that birthday.  There are lots of other good feast days in March, though.

There was a bit of disagreement over the due date.  In the past, I have charted my fertility, though I wasn't doing so this time around.  Of course, once you understand how your body and your cycle work, it's not like you can unlearn that information.  So I had a pretty good idea of where I was in my cycle in the months leading up to conception.  When I went for my first prenatal checkup, the midwife calculated a due date based on menstruation.  I told her that date was no good: not only do I always ovulate late in my cycle, but in fact, I thought I could pretty accurately pinpoint an exact date of ovulation.  She didn't seem to trust my intuition, though.  There was a nine day discrepancy between our dates, and that was too much for her to feel comfortable with.  She asked me to get an ultrasound to confirm.  So I did...and guess who was right?  Humph!  I understand why asked me to do it, but I'm still kind of frustrated, because ultrasounds are astoundingly expensive (even with insurance), and we had explained that we were trying to keep the costs of the pregnancy down as much as was reasonable.

Anyways, thinking about having three kids is pretty exciting and crazy.  Somehow, it feels like a really significant number to me.  As if with three, I'm crossing some sort of line, and now things are getting real.  It's funny, though, because three isn't even that many kids!  But it suddenly feels like we're much more on the verge of being a big family.  Which is a little scary, but overall thrilling.

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This is a section where I would love some advice from other parents, especially those with bigger families than my own!

Having a third kid is going to bring some practical challenges.  For one, we'll need a new car (i.e. new to us, but definitely used).  There is no way we can fit a third carseat in the back.  Isn't it the most ridiculous thing that three grown adults could fit in the back of my car, and yet three tiny little children can not?!  Car seats are way too big.

I've heard some people say that if you buy just the right combination of seats, it's possible to fit three in the back of some cars.  Frankly, I'm not even going to bother looking into this.   I can't afford to spend hundreds of dollars on three brand-new seats when we already have three that work perfectly well.  Besides, we'll need a bigger car soon enough anyways, so I'd rather use our money for that.  Our double stroller already takes up the whole trunk as it is, so I'd love a little more space to fit all the "implements of childhood" we seem to have to cart around.

My mother-in-law is going to lend us her Jeep again this winter because unlike our car, it actually functions on ice and snow, and she's afraid of her grandbabies getting into an accident.  We plan to use that opportunity to sell our car - get some money in the bank - and then shop around for a used something-or-other with more space.  I'm pretty certain we'll have to tap into our savings for a house, which is disappointing.  But at least we'll have a little time to shop around for a deal. 

Does anyone have any family vehicle suggestions?  I would be fine with a mini-van, but Tom hopes to find something which is easier to repair himself (he tells me the engine on a mini-van is very hard to access) and also "less uncool" if possible.

We also need to figure out a sleeping arrangement for the kids.  We plan to keep them all in one bedroom.  Space and location-wise, it just makes the most sense.  But I'm not sure what sort of bed to put everyone in.  Based on what we already own and a few beds various people have offered us, we have many options at our disposal:  Two cribs, two toddler beds, one single bed, a set of single-sized bunk beds, and a set of double/single-sized bunk beds.   When the baby comes, Sly will be three and a half, and Stella will be nineteen months...so I'm thinking bunk beds will need to wait a few years (?).  Any thoughts or suggestions?

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My first trimester is wrapping up here, and I'm looking forward to some easier days (please, Lord!).  Morning sickness wasn't too bad this time around, but I have been feeling pretty exhausted most days.  It's been so much harder to squeeze a nap in now that I have two kids to watch.  And they were on completely separate nap schedules (!!!) for most of this pregnancy.  I was resorting to desperate measures, like trying to catch catnaps on the floor of their bedroom while they climbed all over me.  Until a week ago, that is, when I just could not handle it anymore, and forced poor Stella to adjust herself to Sly's nap cycle.  There were a couple rough days for her, but blessedly, they took place while we were visiting the in-laws, and I therefore had many extra helpers so still got my daily nap anyways, no matter what the children were doing.  Haha!  Things are great now, and I've had a nap almost every day since.

I also decided to wean Stella completely.  She was only nursing in the middle of the night, three times, and it was merely for comfort.  It was taking too much out of me and robbing me of precious sleep and I felt like I was just dying of thirst all the time.  So I just cut her off cold turkey.  Amazingly, she's been sleeping completely through the night ever since and for the first time ever in her short little life - around 11 hours!  It's pretty awesome.


Anyways, if you could remember me and the little one in a prayer, I would be very grateful :-)