Monday, July 9, 2012

Sharing a Bed

I found this graphic pretty amusing.  I thought Tom might agree, so sent him the picture.

Here's his response:
"Dude, it really wasn’t bad at all until the baby belly came along.  Since you’ve been sleeping on your side, the horizontal space you take up has been enormous, though mostly due to limbs outstretched onto my side.  I can’t tell you how often I’ve come to bed to find you sleeping right down the middle with your limbs all splayed out on my side… a few times, I’ve actually contemplated getting into bed on your side because there’s often enough empty real estate over there to build a strip mall ; )"

I guess at least I have my pregnancy as an excuse for now.  But I've definitely heard Tom complain about this exact situation before (I usually blame the cat, who likes to sleep beside me in that "uncharted territory" labeled above).  Regardless, the gradual transition in our approach to sharing a bed has been interesting.

I remember those blissful early days of marriage, where we just couldn't snuggle close enough to each other all night.  We had a full-size bed for the first few weeks, too, and it seemed like plenty of room.  We were just wrapped around one another completely.  One time we even decided to "fall asleep kissing" (?).  And we did....don't ask me how we managed to breathe all night...oh, silly newlyweds, we were.

Now, in our upgraded queen-size bed, we feel a bit cramped.  There's more bickering over "whose side" we're each on, and definitely less frequent snuggling.  Eh, that's just how it goes, I guess.  We'd rather be able to sleep comfortably than be clung to all night.

On a few happy occasions, we've stayed in hotels with king-size beds.  It feels like heaven not to "have" to touch each other!

And this is one of many reasons why we could never ever be a "co-sleeping" family.  Adding a kicking, tossy-turny baby/toddler into the mix would just make Mommy really cranky.  It's one thing to lay with the baby in the bed when you're nursing in the middle of the night, and just let the baby and yourself fall asleep (the only way to ever get enough sleep, in my opinion)...but as soon as that little person starts moving around more and demanding their own fair share of bed, it's time for them to go back to their own, I say!


  1. Haha-- this is so true for us, too- and why we could never do co-sleeping.

  2. Ha! I pretty much sleep in the gray area, and Chuckie in that big middle section. I think I've been gradually drifting towards the middle this past week, so its going to be a shock next week when Chuckie goes back to sleeping at night!

  3. Kissing all night? Ew, morning breath.

    We share pretty well, although I will nap on his side. And if I go to bed first, sometimes I'm on his side because that's where the reading lamp is. Often I fal asleep waiting for him to do "one more quick thing."

    I often wake up with the baby in crook of my arm. Katie Rose can sleep with us, but Anthony no way! Nobody would sleep. I presume the "family bed" advocates are either naturally very heavy sleepers or are so tired that they are. Ryan really doesn't like co-sleeping at all, but will put up with it until the baby starts sleeping all night because it does help me get more sleep. It doesn't really affect his sleep, he just doesn't like having to compete with the baby for my attention.

  4. Before we were married, I floated the idea of separate beds by Gordon and he was totally anti. Well... we are now in separate beds, lol. When he works the closing shift, he doesn't get home until 1am at the earliest, and when he opens, he gets up at 4am. Since he almost always is doing either openings or closings, that's all extra sleep disruption for me that I really don't need, and he doesn't need the baby waking him up either. So, separate beds is working for us. Pippa starts out in the crib but usually ends up in my bed before morning, even though she only nurses once overnight (it's been weeks since she nursed more than once) and the nursing happens when she moves into the bed. Maybe I should start trying to have her stay in her crib all night.

    All the successful long term co-sleeping families I know in real life have king size or larger beds. I know Dr. Sears books recommend the "California King" size bed, or else having multiple mattresses on the floor.

  5. That is hysterical. I have actually gotten into bed on "his side" because my side was taken...I can't even sleep well with a baby (even when they're not supposed to be moving yet, they seem to constantly creep closer and closer ;p). Just never worked for us.