Monday, December 9, 2013

Why I Don't Send Photo Christmas Cards

Every year, more and more of the Christmas cards we receive are photo cards. Some of them are really beautiful, too, professional quality shots and an attractive layout and graphics.  It gets more tempting to give in and start making some of our own (for me, anyways.  Tom really could care less about Christmas cards).

There was something about sending out photo cards that never sat well with me, though.  This year, I did some more thinking about it, and decided that it's just not appropriate.  So we're trying to celebrate and honor Christ's birth, and we do it by sending out messages in which we - our family - is featured most prominently?  With perhaps a "seasonal message" (which is more likely to include words like "peace" "joy" or "holidays" than anything specifically Christian) over on the side?  It just seems to detract from the tidings of joy we intend to send over the wonderful event our our Savior's coming.

I know a lot of families use the yearly Christmas card as a way to stay in touch with certain friends or family members whom they rarely see.  This is why some people have traditions like the annual "Christmas letter" detailing the family news, photocopied and tucked into each card they mail out.  I remember when some people used to include a little professional print of their family as well.  But in these days of Facebook and all the other photo- and information-sharing programs on the internet, it seems hardly necessary.  There might still be a handful of people - especially of the older generation - who haven't been able to keep up with you through the internet.  So why not stick a little photo into your regular Christmas card just for those people whom you know it will matter to? (I never understood as a child why some families we barely knew - such as my dad's ex-coworkers or something - sent us their family photo in a card each Christmas.  The brutal truth is, none of us really cared and they just ended up in the trash can.)
 
I don't want anyone reading this to assume that I think less of them when they send photo cards.  As I said, I think they look great.  And I love to receive any kind of Christmas card from people, because it's nice to know that you were remembered and cared about.  But at least when it comes to myself, I know if I decided to send out photo cards, it would be coming more from a place of vanity - "look at how great my family looks!" - than anything else.  For the past six months, Facebook has inexplicably not allowed me to create any new photo albums (err...it could be because I have way too many of them, and FB just got sick of me posting things all the time!).  I've found it to be very instructive for me.  It's made me realize how many photos of my cute kids I was taking mostly so that I could post them online and show them to other people, instead of as a way to preserve a few memories for our own family. 

And I always feel a little guilty after Christmas, just chucking people's nice photos into the recycling bin with the rest.  I feel like photos shouldn't be so disposable! 

So I'm going to avoid the photo cards, and continue picking out overtly Christian cards with overtly Christian messages that probably confirm to our card recipients that we are, in fact, "crazy Catholics".  Ah, well.


19 comments:

  1. I aim for Epiphany cards and they always feature a very prominent "JESUS IS BORN!!!" or something like that - and then we always use the Madonna and Child stamps :P We send our "Christmas" cards to so many non-Christian friends that I feel like it's a little awkward just to send a "JESUS JESUS JESUS" card to those people without a "Hey, here's what's going on with us!" in there too, and I kind of like the idea of my atheist brothers putting our Jesus cards on their mantles, which they would do if there weren't a picture of our family on there, too :P

    That being said, last year our pictures were the most hideous EVER (friends gave us a misguided gift card to a mall photo studio, where they had NO idea how to take pictures of kids) and I still sen

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    1. Uh... yeah it published before I was done :P Anyway, I still sent them out because they were hilariously ugly and hey, Jesus is born!

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    2. lol :-)

      I think basically everyone on our list is a Catholic or a lapsed Catholic (who maybe need a little reminder of what Christmas is all about?), so I'm not too worried about offending anyone with an image of the Madonna and Child. At the most, I think people would say, "yep - I figured those two would send a card like this!"

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    3. Ha! Well, I JUST finished designing our photo card, so you can judge me now when you get it in the mail. :-) Last year I made a photo one because I had really good Christmas pictures of the kids, and why not, the family would enjoy it since they don't get to see us much. Boy, did they ever. I've inadvertently started a tradition. We talked about not doing it this year and the great-aunts threw back their heads and howled. I stuck in a "God bless you." That felt like a lame-o nod to religion, but I mean it so oh well. The family doesn't need a Christmas card to firmly label us Catholic Crazies, and the friends on the card list already get it about the True Meaning of Christmas (TM).

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  2. I've read this argument in another blog and I thought about it for a while. Clearly I disagree since we're "one of those families" ;0) I can see the vanity point but if someone takes it as my trying to say "look at my beautiful children" that's their issue. Hopefully we're not sending our cards to those people. You're right, if it would be an occasion of sin for you, you shouldn't do it.

    This year the kids' photo is on the front, along with "O Holy Night" and a picture of the Blessed Mother and Jesus. On the back is the nativity narrative from Luke's gospel.

    We see it as a way of "catching people up" with the growing brood without the overly self-centered "family newsletter"...I mean, it's all about your family, right? Not just a photo either...every single FASCINATING thing that your family did this year. I could never understand that. If you know the people, as you say, you make the effort (or see it on FB) to catch them up as it happens. Otherwise, does the person reading really care what happened to you this year? (I say this because we used to get the family news from the friend of a friend...they sent it to everyone apparently).

    The added bonus for me has been keeping them all in our "Christmas Card Box" and looking at every year's card from 2005 until now. I love that yearly trip down memory lane. I fully expect that only my mother-in-law has kept them all...I'm ok that everyone else tosses them (unfortunately photos are disposable...I share your dismay). In a year or so, whenever the babies have officially stopped coming, the photo cards will as well. It's just such a short space of time and for us, it's a way of rejoicing in and giving thanks for all the good things that have come as a result of that first miraculous birth in Bethlehem...including the blessing of our family. For us they are very much intertwined.

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    1. My in-laws send out photo cards each year that include pictures of *us* and our kids (as well as Tom's sister). I will admit, I love having them as keepsakes!

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  3. I pretty much agree with this, but I've done it both ways. We've lived in several states over the years and we send cards to old neighbors and friends who we don't keep up with on FB. I love getting the photo cards, but I do feel sheepish about the appearance of "bragging" about all our cute kids. But now that we have 3 teenagers in the mix, our pictures aren't so cute anymore! Think gawky, braces, glasses, funky outfits because they don't want to cooperate...there's not as much glory in showing these characters off as there used to be! I love the compromise of the religious card with a small snapshot of everyone...you could even print off wallet sized prints so as not to dominate the theme of the card, which rightfully should be, "Merry Christmas!" not "We're so cute!"

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  4. I'm a horder of pretty photo cards. If its a nice photo, I'm not tossing it! Maybe a few years down the road I will, but generally I have them all saved in a big box. I can't bear to part with such pretty cards.

    I actually struggle with this too. I didn't start sending photo cards until last year when we had a baby because who doesn't like a baby picture! But I kind of miss the simplicity of just picking out cards (instead of designing and ordering the photo cards...) and writing a quick note. I have a feeling I may go back to basics someday, but we shall see. This year I was a little grinchy and didn't want to spend oodles of money on postage so I did postcards. We send out a ton of cards, so postage really was adding up!

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    1. I should add that I do like the photo cards for nothing other than motivating me to get a nice family photo once a year. Though the past two years (again the only two years I've done it) the "nice" family photo wasn't all that nice. haha... feeble attempts!

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    2. I know what you mean about the cost! Last year, we just couldn't fit the price of cards and stamps into our budget. This year, we have purchased-on-clearance-last-year-from-DollarTree cards (they cost $0.50 a pack! haha), and I'm just going to cut down on the list of recipients so we're not spending a total fortune on the stamps.

      I'm not saying not to do the photo cards, but you can always pick another day of the year that's memorable to get a family photo. Every year, we sit in front of the house on Mother's Day and get a nice shot (see my header pic on the blog for last year's photo). So far, we have 3 years-worth, and they're all framed and lined up in our downstairs hallway. I love seeing the family grow, and I can't wait until we have a HUGE line of these photos in another 15-20 years!

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  5. I've been thinking about this lately, because obviously next year we expect to have a family photo worth making a card of (ie, I doubt you want a photo card of just Chuckie and me [although I have gotten cards like that...])

    On the one hand, I definitely see your point about it potentially being a bit vain. On a personal level, I also know that photo cards can be very painful (think, *everyone's* baby is having their first Christmas, and yours should have been and you have no baby at all... I imagine it has a similar effect on people who are single but want a family)--and some people on my list may still fall into those categories next year, unfortunately.

    On the other hand... I don't really like buying a generic card and signing our names and that's that. I always think I should write a more personal message--including something about how our year was-- in each one but when it comes down to coming up with a message for 50+ cards, it never happens. So, a photo card (or including a wallet photo in the regular card) is a sort of middle ground between generic card w/ names and full out super-detailed newsletter. I know most people can keep up with us on Facebook if they want to, but not everyone. I signed several cards this year thinking "I wonder if they know our news or if this will be their announcement" (I signed "Chuck, Katie and Baby")

    When it comes down to it... I'll probably just see what Chuckie wants to do. He'll give me an answer without overthinking it like I am.

    (Oh, I should also note... If we do picture cards, I will definitely do a *family* picture, not just a baby picture. Mainly for the reason I stated above about how painful those baby cards can be...)

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    1. I hear you about not liking to just send a generic card. But I've never been good at writing heart-felt cards, and there are so many to send...I settled with just adding a hand-written "Merry Christmas!" this year. Maybe next year I can write a little more!

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  6. Wow Christine, tell us how you really feel. I'm going to try to not feel like you've just accused me of being vain. I'm trying. Trying.

    I love photo cards. We have so many friends all over the country and the world. I love that we use this time of year, of Christ's birth, to keep in touch. I can't imagine the baby Jesus is feeling snubbed. Once again, my family is going for both/and. We do a religious AND photo card.

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    1. No, the only one I'm accusing of vanity is myself. I just think if we did a photo card, I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. I'm really trying to work out how I can bring the Faith more into my life and get rid of potential distractions/temptations - perhaps I'm overly scrupulous at times.

      I don't judge our friends who send photo cards - I get the reasons they do it. Their cards look nice, and get hung up along with all the others. But I have to say, I'd usually prefer a beautiful image of the holy family (which I often cut out to save for use with crafts with the kids...one day).

      I think I was somewhat turned off by it all, though, this past weekend while we were in Phoenix...we went to a public park (one of the few places in the city with an abundance of grass) and everyone - literally every last person - there besides ourselves was posing for a professional photo while decked out in Christmas gear...some of them didn't have kids but instead posed with their dogs who were dressed in antlers and such. No one was there to enjoy the nice day or the scenery of nature. They were all there just to take their Christmas photos, and it kinda left a bad taste in my mouth...and just got me thinking about the whole thing. I know not everyone who sends photo cards is doing it out of vanity, but it seems likely that it could sneak in as part of the motivation. I just think it's best for me to stay out of the whole business :-)

      I'd love to see how your card looks this year, if you post about it on your blog.

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  7. Our photo cards are very Christian. They have a picture of the manger scene and a bible verse that I chose. The back message is also very Christian and Catholic. Our card is a clearly a religious Christmas card. Many sites let you design the message and many also have some Christian designs. We have always said we would never send a secular Christmas card. It just isn't who we are and why we celebrate Christmas. And we certainly don't consider ourselves vain. Trust me. Sending out a card with me 10 pounds heavier than I want to be was nothing short of a lesson in humility. We do it because a picture says in a very visual way says, "From our family to yours, Merry Christmas." I send them to ex coworkers because those people meant a lot to our lives and we still consider them friends and want to say we are thinking of them at Christmas. I always wondered what to do with photo cards when Christmas was over, too. My parents keep them on the fridge, but I had a friend who showed me that she kept them inside her pantry doors. I loved the idea, and we plan to do it this year as well. True many people have seen the pictures on Facebook, but even those who have enjoy having a real, tangible picture in their hands. I know a lot of Brian's family considers them little Christmas gifts and keeps the pictures all year long to show friends. Pictures bring joy and cheer. And I think they are meant to be shared. As long as I can keep finding religious photo cards, we will keep on making them and keep on sending them.

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  8. I've heard of people saving all the Christmas cards they receive each year in a basket in the dining room and picking one each night to pray for that family during grace or evening prayer. Which seems like a neat idea!

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    1. I think I've heard that idea too. Last year, we used some of ours to help Sly learn the names of various friends who didn't leave nearby.

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  9. I know this must be a hot-button issue for the mommy set, since this is what we're all consumed with this time of year--trying to get the darn cards in the mail! But I agree with you, and I would also have found that scene you describe in the park equally nauseating. With the "advent" of Facebook and blogging, many of our friends and family see our faces (and hear our stories) all year long. My personal solution to this is sending a beautiful religious card, including a small, non-professional picture of the my boys and/or our little family that has not been posted to Facebook before, then hand-writing a few lines in each card. If we're sending out cards because it's Christmas, then make the effort to put Christmas first with your card.

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    1. I love this idea, because it still keeps things "personal", yet focused on Christ.

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