Saturday, December 1, 2012

Improper Toddler Talk, Date Night, and Thoughts on Modest Dress

Tom and I both have a lot of trouble remembering that Sly is listening to everything we say, and is wont to repeat it.  We're good about not swearing or saying anything on that level, but our speech is still peppered with somewhat less-offensive words I just don't want to hear my toddler using.

Me: "That sucks"
Sly: "Sucks! sucks! hahahaha"
-Tom and I exchange looks-
Tom: "Christine! Look what you did!"
Me: "Oh crap!"
Sly: "Crap! crap!"

And today over lunch, Sly repeated a charming little phrase that he had heard Tom use: "secret butt hair".  Lol.  Don't even ask how we got on that topic...

Another word that Sly has picked up recently is "hate", which can be frustrating.  Now that he has a word for the concept, he's decided that he hates various things.  About a week ago, he began inexplicably to hate one of his winter hats, and anytime we try to put it on him, will yell, "Sly hate it!" and throw it to the ground.


Tom and I went to the symphony last night, having been given tickets by a friend who couldn't go.  Actually, there was some sort of mix-up with that.  When they scanned our tickets at the door, they almost turned us away.  Apparently, this friend gave us his tickets, but then called the hall to exchange them for a different performance - so our tickets were null.  The admissions people felt bad for us, though, and let us in anyways.  Tom needs to call that guy up and give him a hard time.

We realized that it's the first time we've been out together with no kids since Stella was born (over three months now)!  So I suppose it was a date.  But my dad, who was watching them for us, tells me that Stella screamed non-stop for the last hour, and refused to take the bottle of milk which I so lovingly and painstakingly pumped for it might be the last date we have for a little while.

"My plan worked - now Mommy has to stay with me all the time!"
The concert was nice - they played Tchaikovsky's Fourth Symphony and some other stuff (haha - am I offending any classical music lovers by calling it "stuff"?).  I certainly appreciate the value of classical music, and when I listen to it, I am aware of the tremendous genius of some of the composers, and the talent of the performers.  Yet in practice, I feel like I often treat it as not much more than "pleasant background music."  But I have seen this Symphony performed before and own a recording of it, so I was familiar with the music, which always makes it more enjoyable.

It was exciting to get to wear a dress for once, since I wouldn't have to worry about nursing Stella for the evening.  But I regret the decision I made.  Tom always asks why I never wear anything like the standard "little black dress" when we go out.  So, since it was also his birthday, I decided it was time to finally honor that wish of his.  I wore a dress that my mom gave me a while ago because it was too tight on her.  I never really checked it in a full length mirror, since we were in a rush to get ready - I just threw it on and asked Tom quickly if I looked okay, to which he gave a strong affirmative (ha!).  Anyways...once we got to the concert hall, I caught a look at myself in a mirror, and suddenly became very self-conscious.  The dress was just...not appropriate.  I'm not a huge modesty nazi or anything, but I do have a line, and I think that dress crossed it.  At intermission, we saw not one, but two couples from our church.  And I was too embarrassed to go over and talk to them :-(.  So's time to remove that dress from the closet.

When I pick clothes, "modesty" is not a quality I necessarily look for.  This is because I have such a hard time pinpointing or defining what that really means.  Not that it's a bad virtue to strive for, by any means.  It's just difficult for me to say definitively that this garment "is" or "is not" modest.  There are so many factors involved, and I don't think modesty can be your only consideration in dressing.  If I had to give names to they the qualities I chose in my clothes, I would say I look for items that are reasonably "classy" and "feminine",as well as having a color/shape/style which appeals to me personally.  And if clothes are truly classy and feminine, I think they're de facto fairly modest.  After years of dressing this way, it's helped me develop more of an instinct about what is or is not appropriate for me.  If I can say "I don't feel classy" or "I don't feel feminine" in a particular outfit, then I will not be comfortable, and it's probably also not very modest (or else it's a drab, shapeless, grungy outfit of some sort, which I should also be embarrassed to wear in public!)


  1. Oh I've been there with saying things in front of young ears that wind up getting repeated. Of course, it took me about ten years and some very good counsel in confession to realize that I have to be careful about what I say around my children (not just my language but also my comments about others). And I feel your pain on realizing after it's too late to change that you're not in the most modest outfit. I've had a few occasions in the past couple of years where I notice that something I'm wearing and thought was perfectly modest and flattering were only that way until I leaned forward or moved a certain way. I'm so particular about making sure I'm not showing off anything I don't intend that when something slips by I get very upset and self-conscious.

    Stella is super cute in that picture!

    1. Thanks - I think Stella is a cutie there myself :-)

      That's a good reminding about saying things in front of kids that might not be bad words, but still be uncharitable, etc. I need to start paying attention to see how much I'm doing this as well.

  2. My deciding factor about the modesty is "Do I feel "sexy" in this? (Will it make men's heads turn) Vs "Do I look nice in this?" I just realized the other day that I'm very uncomfortable about wearing skirts that are not below my knees. I thought I was dressed in a Nice way until I sat down and I felt my legs stick to the chair ALOT farther up then I thought they should. I was almost shocked.

    Little ones have amazing hearing. You can say something under your breath from across the house while they are napping and two days later they are "practicing" your words. It's AMAZING what little ones will hear when your not wanting them to. From a speech pathology point of view the fact that he uses the word hate correctly is a good thing and it also gives him power, from a parental point of view I know you want to take their words away. Hate is about as bad as when they learn NO! It's not fun for parents when a toddler learns they have power over their world . They become power junkies!

  3. Related funny story: Pippa is very into utensils right now and uses the word "fork" for all of them. Unfortunately she can't pronounce the "r" very well. So if we're out in public and eating, and she wants a fork/spoon/whatever, she starts saying "Fork! Fork! Fork!" but it sounds like she's chanting the F-bomb.