Thursday, September 15, 2011

Married Dates

Since I first got married, I have had countless people insist to me that one of the most important things for your marriage - especially after children start coming - is to have regular date nights with your husband.  Mostly, it was "veteran" married women telling me this, and I tend to listen up when people like that have some advice to give about married life.  They've experienced the ups and downs and everything in between!  Then a few weeks ago, I was having a conversation with my mom about some of the circumstances leading to her divorce from my dad.  One of the things she insisted I do was ensure date nights with Tom, saying that the lack of those with my dad was one contributing factor in the breakdown of their relationship.  Well, then!

Anyways, the past two weeks or so have been rather rocky between Tom and myself.  I don't know exactly...I think there's a lot of stress about the impending move, and the realization that we are poor beyond poor and might not be able to afford it, and what the heck where we thinking having another baby now?!  (not that we at all regret it, God!  Very grateful still!).  It's just been tense between us.  We are at each other's throats about the stupidest little things.  So the other night, I just said, "alright.  I'm instituting regular date nights!  I think this is something we need." and went on to explain all the things people have told me about the value of setting aside that time.  Tom was very skeptical at first, but as the days have passed, he's really been warming up to it.  We've been brainstorming various inexpensive options - either out of the house or staying in.  There are a lot of things to do, if you're flexible and creative with it.  The only real requirement is "no Sly allowed!"

Tonight will be our first of these date nights.  We decided to stay home, and wait until Sly goes to bed.  We're going to make malt milkshakes and play a boardgame.  haha!  How teenager-y!  And I said there's a "no jeans or t-shirts rule." 

Tom usually hates boardgames, but when he called over lunch today, he sounded like he's really looking forward to it.  In fact, things have been very pleasant between us recently, and I would not be surprised if it's a direct result of this date resolution.  I'll try to report back on my continuing feelings about "married couple dates."


  1. Brian and I have had a regular date night at least once a month since Matthew was born. Truly, it is the glue that has kept us together. With him losing his job, we haven't been getting along all that well lately either, but we have a date night coming up this weekend and we are both excited to have a little happy time together. lol

    And I love your idea for tonight! I may steal it. We are doing burgers on the grill and renting a movie while eating ice cream from Ben and Jerry's pints. Not too expensive but a heck of a good time.

    Enjoy your time together. You will grow to love your regular date nights. I am so excited for both of you. And please send some of those milk shakes my way. That sounds sooooooo good right now! :)

  2. If you ever need a babysitter, let us know! Weekends, weeknights...we'll do it for free. Goodness knows, Adam and I could both use the baby experience.