St. Gerard Majella is the patron of expectant mothers. When I was pregnant with Sly, we bought a statue of him. We weren't very good about displaying it prominently, or remembering to pray to him. So we had decided that when I should become pregnant again, we'd be better about it.
The day we knew I was pregnant, we pulled out the statue, and placed it on our home altar. We had been asking St. Gerard to intercede for the health of me and the baby in our prayers each night.
Now this might sound bad, but it seems to me something very "Old World Catholic." The day we found out about the miscarriage, Tom became angry with St. Gerard.
We were sitting on the couch that night, feeling sad, trying to come up with the right way to pray for all the things on our minds.
Tom was looking towards our little altar and said dejectedly, "St. Gerard let us down, man."
My eyes immediately went to rest on his statue on the altar, but I saw that it was gone. I noticed that the items had been rearranged. "Oh," I said, "you moved him already. Where'd you put him?".
"In the basement." Tom said with gruff finality.
"....oh..." I stammered. I was afraid to comment further on Tom's attitude.
"He deserved it." was the reply.
You will find throughout the next few weeks and months that you and Tom will grieve very differently. That is something Brian and I learned from our support that we find so true. I remember having shouting matches with God on my commute to work during the first few weeks after Abby died. I kept asking, "Why." It was only six months later that I could actually recite the prayer from my Mother's Prayer book that says things about accepting God's will and not my will to be done and about coming to peace with Abby's death. It's all part of the grieving process. Don't be alarmed. Tom and St. Gerard will like each other again one day just like I stopped shouting at God eventually.
ReplyDeleteAwww.
ReplyDeleteMy mom was in Catholic school and one of the sisters there had a statue of St. Joseph in the classroom, because she had a great devotion to him. Generally she had a very pleasant disposition and the children all liked her very much. If you came into class one day and St. Joseph had been turned to face the wall, however, you had better watch your step, because St. Joseph let Sister down and she was going to be in a bad mood!
I've gotten mad at saints too, which isn't really fair, because that's like getting mad at a friend who prays for you when you don't get what you had the friend pray for. But it's human to be mad about it because it seems like the saint should be able to get it for you.
This post is really very beautiful. And the comments thus far are very beautiful.
ReplyDelete